Author Topic: I hate this time of year  (Read 2327 times)

Judy-Marc's mum

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I hate this time of year
« on: December 21, 2007, 06:47:34 AM »
Today is 1 yr on since Marcís funeral.  That is the day that reality hit; he wasnít going to be walking in the door any time soon.  Until then I kept on waiting for the door to open and him saying ďIím homeĒ and kicking his dirty work boots off at the door.

I know that we saw him in the funeral home here in Darwin but it wasnít the same as seeing him in Perth with all the family and friends saying I so sorry.  Sorry about what, I wanted to ask. Numb, Numb, Numb

Still so very numb. I hate being here when he is not.

I go to work; I come home and drink to keep myself numb so that I donít have to think. 

My husband doesnít like to talk about Marc because it hurts him too much, but it hurts me more not to.
Sorry raving now, but I canít help myself.  S**t.

The pain off handling this is unbelievable.  I never thought that I would have to go through all off this.  Marc was such a good boy. 

I would like to share with everyone that has lost a child what my friend Judy wrote for Marc as I think that it applies to all of our children.

The phone rang in the early hours of the morning and I was informed that Marc was involved in an accident and had not survived. As I sat crying with Ron, I took a few minutes to gather myself and then I thought, ďItís just not fairĒ.
No. It was just not fair. We can try to share with Marcís family the grief they feel, but it is not really in our power to do so. We are compelled to measure the loss of our friend, our mate, our brother or son in our own way and turn instead to what we can share; the extraordinary life that touched us all.
When Jude rang me and told me about Marc's accident, all I could think was, "My God, what a waste." My second thought was, "How could God be so cruel and unfair." So many people waste the gifts they have been given, and squander lives of endless possibilities. But he was a person who was going places and a joy to see grow up.
Not long ago, many of you sitting here today with heavy hearts of sorrow were saying goodbye and good luck as he made his journey to Darwin. His future was bright. Many of you who said goodbye then were celebrating his future as well as, maybe, even envying his chance to see other places.
Grieving is a strange thing. You go through so many stages, from disbelief, to anger, to feelings of unfairness, to questioning why or how, and finally to a form of acceptance tinged with intense sorrow. Actually, every feeling you have about the death of a youthful loved one is intense.
I tried hard to think of all of my experiences with Marc. Being a realist, I pressed myself to think of everything, the good and the bad. What I realised after two hours was that I couldnít think of any bad, and it wasnít the product of a faulty memory. Almost all of my experiences with Marc were positive and happy encounters, and the ones that werenít, were entirely during the typically awkward years that are early adolescence. But even those experiences were not negative, merely neutral.
Marc was like another son/brother to Michael along with Phillip but unique in his own way. He was a fantastic, polite boy and joy to be around. He was well respected and loved by his peers and by us adults, he will always hold a place in the Wright familyís hearts forever.
Marc, you were a great student and friend. We celebrate your life as one with many many accomplishments. Thank you for touching all of us and giving us the joy of knowing you.
Thank you, Marc. Your spirit will continue to live on in all of us and I know if there is a football field up in heaven, Marc is standing on it now with the footy under his arm waiting for us to finish so he can get on with his game. So Marc, Iím finished, and as you fly with the angels, kick a goal for all of us.

So let us all think of all of most precious children and let the living also know what they mean to us while there is still time
Time is so short

I know that I havent replied to a lot of posts, it is because I dont know what to say.  Untill I figure it out for myself I know I am no good for helping anyone else.

I hope that you all get through this time of year ok

Thinking of you all

Judy
« Last Edit: December 21, 2007, 07:12:12 AM by Judy-Marc's mum »

Karen Paul

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Re: I hate this time of year
« Reply #1 on: December 21, 2007, 06:59:41 AM »
Judy - thinking of you on this sad day - how special that your friend shared that with you - her thoughts are beautiful and what a tribute to your sweet Marc! - I'm so glad you decided to share it with us..

luv and hugs, Karen
Chris' aunt

sandy2

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Re: I hate this time of year
« Reply #2 on: December 21, 2007, 11:52:17 AM »
JUDY, im so sorry! LOVE SANDY SHANES MOM

Jeanneb

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Re: I hate this time of year
« Reply #3 on: December 21, 2007, 12:16:30 PM »
Judy,

Thank you for sharing this wonderful note from your friend.  Marc certainly sounds like a very special young man. 

It all is just so wrong...right there with you missing my boy.

Jeanne
Philip's mom

marie

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Re: I hate this time of year
« Reply #4 on: December 21, 2007, 01:45:27 PM »
Judy, I know how you feel. My Patrick died last year. He was only 35. This will be the 2nd Christmas without him. I just can't wait until the holidays are over. You take care of yourself so you don't get sick like I did Sending Love and Hugs Marie
                 

Wadesmom

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Re: I hate this time of year
« Reply #5 on: December 22, 2007, 06:08:13 AM »
Judy,
Please don't feel bad for not being able to post or reply- I understand. I don't know what to say either but I believe that everyone on this forum can relate, sometimes it works and some days it just doesn't.

Thank you for sharing what your friend Judy wrote about Marc.  My heart hurts with you and for you. I'm so sorry.

Please take care, My thoughts are with Marc and you.

Wadesmom