Author Topic: Hello to all of you  (Read 4725 times)

marzz

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Hello to all of you
« on: October 15, 2007, 07:56:13 AM »
Have not posted for a long while,
But I read here everyday and my love goes out to you all
It's been over 15 months now since I lost my daughter Kelly
I'm just a empty shell with nothing to live for.
I feel so sad for those of you who have other young children
and have to cope, it must be so very hard on you and them.
My husband of 41 year's marriage Max as just got a diagnosis of advanced cancer there's
nothing they can do for him, I think he new something was wrong
with him after our daughter died but never said anything so I'm looking
after him at home.
But you know I'm just so empty I am feeling nothing I still love him dearly
we have a good marriage,
It seem very cold to me but my grief for Kelly rules my heart now.
I must find some strength deep down now I hope so that I can care for Kelly's dad.
she love him dearly and he her.
All my love to, peace be with you.
Mary Kelly's mum always.
Thank You Kelly For Being My Daughter.

  

Karen Paul

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Re: Hello to all of you
« Reply #1 on: October 15, 2007, 08:13:55 AM »
Mary - I'm so sorry to hear about Max - so hard for both of you to be facing this in the midst of your grief over your sweet daughter Kelly - I hope you will reach out and find help in caring for him - your post brought me to tears.. this journey is so hard already - please know that I'm holding you all in my heart -

luv and hugs, Karen
Chris' aunt

John-Danielle Marie's Daddy

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Re: Hello to all of you
« Reply #2 on: October 15, 2007, 10:02:08 AM »
(((((Mary & Max))))),
Oh, I am so sorry to hear about Max. I don't know what to say...I just can't imagine after the death of your beautiful daughter, Kelly to have to face yet another horrible life-changing event.
I know that it will be very difficult, for you Mary to stay strong for Max...We will be here for you...ALWAYS.
I will keep you both in my thoughts and prayers.

John
Wishing You All Continuous Comfort & Peace,
John-Danielle Marie’s Daddy
1/4/95-2/20/06 (head trauma-motor vehicle accident)
“Her friendship was an inspiration, her love a blessing”

Marianne

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Re: Hello to all of you
« Reply #3 on: October 15, 2007, 12:03:27 PM »
Dear Mary,

It is so hard to "feel" anything other than our grief.  Just take one day at a time.

All my love and prayers to you and your family.
Marianne (Alek's Mom Forever)

momofwatsonx

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Re: Hello to all of you
« Reply #4 on: October 15, 2007, 12:22:38 PM »
(((((((((((Mary)))))))))))))

I am a lost for words, I know you must be going thur hell right now!!!!!
I know there is a different type of grief when we lose our spouces and when we lose our children, my neighbor lost his wife the day after my son Josh's funeral, I seen the cop car's and emt out side at midnight and knew something was wrong, I went next door and walked in withour knocking and asked if everything was ok and he said know Cathy died in her sleep... my husband had just talked to her about 2 hours before when he took there dishes back over from food they brought over..

He and I talk often and we both have this huge emptyness but it is so different.

Mary I wish you and Max the best and hope that you can find the strenght to enjoy what time you have with him.....

keeping you both in my thoughts and prayers
love and hugs
virgie   JOSH"S mom



Dena

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Re: Hello to all of you
« Reply #5 on: October 15, 2007, 04:01:43 PM »
((((((((Mary & Max)))))))))

I am thinking of you both. We are always here for you. I wish I knew what to say, but words are failing me. Just know that you are not alone.

Love,
Dena, Josh's Mom

Kathy

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Re: Hello to all of you
« Reply #6 on: October 15, 2007, 05:57:27 PM »
Dear Mary,

I am so very sorry about your husband. Holding you, Max and Kelly close to my heart tonight.

Love,
Kathy-Don's Mom

marzz

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Re: Hello to all of you
« Reply #7 on: October 16, 2007, 05:07:34 PM »
Thank you all for being here and your kind words ((not that you should be here)) no one should be.
Someone wrote awhile back, 
Hold onto Kelly's love and let it pull you up from the darkest moments
that’s what has help me so much.
I wrote in a older post awhile back that I have a email address for Kelly, I write to her everyday
to tell her what’s happening in my life, She still lives through me.
 
((But we do have one companion on this lonely journey our child who died. I think there is never a moment in the day when a part of me in not connected to my daughter Kelly, to our years together and to our present relationship. Our journey through grief is a good-bye to their spirits and to the essence of their beings. My daughter lives inside me now, and the same gifts she gave me when she was physically alive are still available to me through her spirit. In some ways, those "spirit gifts" are stronger, because they are contained and undiluted within me.

When the days get unbearably hard, when I think of all this wonderful young women missed by not getting to live her life out, I try to remember to focus on the present child, the one inside me. I try to integrate her gifts into my life, sometimes seeing through her eyes, thinking from her heart and mind. But we do have one companion on this lonely journey our child who died. I think there is never a moment in the day when a part of me in not connected to my daughter Kelly, to our years together and to our present relationship. Our journey through grief is a good-bye to their spirits and to the essence of their beings. My daughter lives inside me now, and the same gifts she gave me when she was physically alive are still available to me through her spirit. In some ways, those "spirit gifts" are stronger, because they are contained and undiluted within me. Catherine Reeve:))

This is so true to me I must focus on this to help me with Max, I don't know how long he as weeks, months,
He is coping well with this and say's to me THIS IS LIFE the good and the bad, this is what life is about.
Is it???
Love ,Hugs, Mary
Thank You Kelly For Being My Daughter.

  

sandy2

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Re: Hello to all of you
« Reply #8 on: October 16, 2007, 06:03:31 PM »
MARZZ, i so wish i could force myself to live by your message !!!! its been 18 weeks i lost my 29 yr old son to a constuction acc. just cant seem to face reality. you have such amazing words about the child inside of you . i am going to focus on that. lov the picture of you & your beautiful KELLY.i will be thinking of you & your family. sending BIG HUGS & PRAYERS , LOVE SANDY SHANES MOM
« Last Edit: October 16, 2007, 06:06:18 PM by sandy2 »

marzz

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Re: Hello to all of you
« Reply #9 on: October 16, 2007, 08:36:33 PM »
sandy2
the pic's are both Kelly, she was 36ys when is die of peritonitis due to doctor's neglect.
18 weeks Sandy you are still in shock.   reality hit me hard at 6 months  mark, then after the 1st year horror hit me.
Posts by people here who have been on this journey along time help me with their word's  and I focus on them
(( focus on the present child, the one inside you )) they have not died they still live, my Kelly still live's I talk to her all the
time, and I must admit some of the emptyness goes away sometimes.
Now I'm finding it hard with Max being very ill,   Kelly will pull me up, because she is still alive in me.

When the tears fall for Kelly which is often, it make me feel happy because I know it's my deep love for her.
take care this is for life sandy because of your love for your child  HUGS Mary
Thank You Kelly For Being My Daughter.

  

sandy2

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Re: Hello to all of you
« Reply #10 on: October 17, 2007, 06:03:39 AM »
MARZZ,sorry for the mix up on pictures. WHAT A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN !!!!!! SUCH A WONDERFUL SMILE . THANK YOU ONCE AGAIN FOR YOUR ENCOUAGING WORDS . GOD BLESS YOU , TAKING CARE OF YOUR HUSBAND . THING OF YOU , LOV SANDY SHANES MOM