Recent Posts
91
Sibling Loss / Re: loss of siblings
« Last post by Tom on April 20, 2019, 01:43:16 PM »Barb - my apologies for getting no response. I was under the impression that a moderator was monitoring things. Looks like I was wrong and my apologies.
The loss of a sibling is a tough one. They are often the only people we have who know our story from the beginning and when they die we are left alone with fewer folks knowing our own history. This is of course, on top of the basic grief of having a loved one die.
Thank you very much for reporting this post since it got my attention.
Tom
The loss of a sibling is a tough one. They are often the only people we have who know our story from the beginning and when they die we are left alone with fewer folks knowing our own history. This is of course, on top of the basic grief of having a loved one die.
Thank you very much for reporting this post since it got my attention.
Tom
92
Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: Trying to communicats
« Last post by browneyedgirl on April 04, 2019, 11:09:25 PM »Dear Dannyswife - first and foremost I am so very sorry for the lost of your Danny. My heart hurts for you and your loss.
I, too, am so very sorry that you feel this way. I urge you to come back and perhaps read some old threads.....as really the purpose, to me, of the Boards is to share our experiences and feelings for others to read and perhaps relate to, so that we know that what we are feeling isn't out of the ordinary, or strange, or uncommon. Grief is as unique as the person that is experiencing it. My guess is that you're VERY hurt, and maybe confused on how you're supposed to go on without your Danny - as that is the way I feel....how do I just go on living as if he was never here, as if life with him didn't exist.....please be patient with yourself, as well as other memebers...we are all on this journey together and many for the first time, and it really is as the saying goes....one day at a time. They say you don't "get over it" you just learn to live with it.....at this point for me....learning to live with it is a poor solution to what I am going thru...but again, I just take it one day at a time....sending love and light...
I, too, am so very sorry that you feel this way. I urge you to come back and perhaps read some old threads.....as really the purpose, to me, of the Boards is to share our experiences and feelings for others to read and perhaps relate to, so that we know that what we are feeling isn't out of the ordinary, or strange, or uncommon. Grief is as unique as the person that is experiencing it. My guess is that you're VERY hurt, and maybe confused on how you're supposed to go on without your Danny - as that is the way I feel....how do I just go on living as if he was never here, as if life with him didn't exist.....please be patient with yourself, as well as other memebers...we are all on this journey together and many for the first time, and it really is as the saying goes....one day at a time. They say you don't "get over it" you just learn to live with it.....at this point for me....learning to live with it is a poor solution to what I am going thru...but again, I just take it one day at a time....sending love and light...
93
Spouse, Partner Loss / My boyfriend died
« Last post by browneyedgirl on April 04, 2019, 10:56:10 PM »Hello All....for those of you that do not know me, I came to Webhealing almost exactly 10 years ago when my brother, Tony died. Webehaling was a life saver for me, and there were/are so many loving, caring people here who understand what you're going thru. I became very active on the Boards, and was a Moderator for a time. Then I felt as though it was time for me to "fly away" from Webhealing, and there were also many changes in my life.
I would read the Spouse Loss Board, and my heart would hurt so badly for those who had lost the love of their lives, and just could not imagine the intense pain their hearts must feel.....the 'Spouse Loss Board always got to me, I would read of the beautiful love that these people shared, and to have to taken away, was just the most awful feeling I could imagine.....well, it is with a heavy heart that I return to Webhealing after my boyfriend, Phil, took his life on December 11, 2018.
This is without a doubt the most awful pain I have ever felt, and I am convinced that after this, NOTHING will ever be able to hurt me again, as this feels like the ultimate hurt. I feel as though someone is punishing me, what did I do to deserve this pain, this event in my life? My life has little meaning, no direction, and I hardly smile anymore. I wake up each day, hoping to feel better, but the hurt never eases.....we were supposed to do great things together, grow old together, this was not how our story was supposed to end. The thought that I will not be able to hold his hand, kiss his face, look in his eyes anymore kills me. Phil was truly my greatest love, and even if I knew I would loose him in the end, I would do it all over again.....he was the greatest man to ever touch my life, he taught me so much, his words of encouragement kept me going, and if I had to describe him in one word it would be LOYAL. Never in my life, have I had a man show me such loyalty....I consider it an honor to be the recipient of his love, and I will cherish it in my heart forever. I miss him every second of every day, and I just don't know how to pick up the pieces....will I ever love again? Maybe...but not like the love we had. Pam and Phil, Phil and Pam the greatest story of true love and fate yet to be told...he used to say that all the time....lol
I am so sorry that any of us have to be here, but it helps to know that there are others that know how we feel....even though I would never, ever, ever, wish this upon anyone.....I know that death is a part of life, I get that....but to have my best friend, my partner, my love, my life, die so soon, it just stinks. My hope is that someday I can "rejoin" the world, because I feel as though I have just like checked out. Some say I am wrapping myself in a warm blanket of self pity - and I can't understand why one would say that to me, but I really try to block that out.....
thank you for reading....
I would read the Spouse Loss Board, and my heart would hurt so badly for those who had lost the love of their lives, and just could not imagine the intense pain their hearts must feel.....the 'Spouse Loss Board always got to me, I would read of the beautiful love that these people shared, and to have to taken away, was just the most awful feeling I could imagine.....well, it is with a heavy heart that I return to Webhealing after my boyfriend, Phil, took his life on December 11, 2018.
This is without a doubt the most awful pain I have ever felt, and I am convinced that after this, NOTHING will ever be able to hurt me again, as this feels like the ultimate hurt. I feel as though someone is punishing me, what did I do to deserve this pain, this event in my life? My life has little meaning, no direction, and I hardly smile anymore. I wake up each day, hoping to feel better, but the hurt never eases.....we were supposed to do great things together, grow old together, this was not how our story was supposed to end. The thought that I will not be able to hold his hand, kiss his face, look in his eyes anymore kills me. Phil was truly my greatest love, and even if I knew I would loose him in the end, I would do it all over again.....he was the greatest man to ever touch my life, he taught me so much, his words of encouragement kept me going, and if I had to describe him in one word it would be LOYAL. Never in my life, have I had a man show me such loyalty....I consider it an honor to be the recipient of his love, and I will cherish it in my heart forever. I miss him every second of every day, and I just don't know how to pick up the pieces....will I ever love again? Maybe...but not like the love we had. Pam and Phil, Phil and Pam the greatest story of true love and fate yet to be told...he used to say that all the time....lol
I am so sorry that any of us have to be here, but it helps to know that there are others that know how we feel....even though I would never, ever, ever, wish this upon anyone.....I know that death is a part of life, I get that....but to have my best friend, my partner, my love, my life, die so soon, it just stinks. My hope is that someday I can "rejoin" the world, because I feel as though I have just like checked out. Some say I am wrapping myself in a warm blanket of self pity - and I can't understand why one would say that to me, but I really try to block that out.....
thank you for reading....
94
Parent Loss / Re: Losing Dad by inches
« Last post by Nicoleen1973 on March 29, 2019, 02:58:58 AM »How is your dad? Is he okay?
95
Parent Loss / I could not keep my promise
« Last post by Nicoleen1973 on March 29, 2019, 02:47:04 AM »My mom was complaining about swallowing problems for months. She kept going to the doctor and he kept insisting its an ulcer and prescribed medicine which did not help. She knew something was not right and told him to take xrays of her chest. He found a huge mass and referred her to a specialist. They did a biopsy and it ended up being stage 4 lung cancer. The tumor was 14cm and pushing her esophagus to the side. That is why she could not swallow. The cancer also spread to one small spot on her kidney, one small one on the brain and on one lymph node. She tested positive for targeted therapy. The oncologist said they could never heal my mom but they could give her quality of life and more years. When my mom was first diagnosed I promised her that i was going to do everything in my power to make sure shes okay and get through this. She was all alone as my dad died in 2013. She was diagnosed in November 2018 and died 2nd March 2019. During these 3 months I drove her up and down to radiation. She got pneumonia and spend the last 2 months in hospital. I visited her everyday. Tried to make sure she eats enough to keep her strenth. I had problems with the medical aid so she only started her cancer treatment in February. She got weaker and weaker but then stronger at times. The oncologist kept telling me that with the targeted therapy she will be okay. She was still fine the one moment and then the last two days just went from bad to worse. She told us that she wanted to go home to my dad. I still thought she would be fine. But the last day I visited her I knew she wouldnt be. I cried the whole time while sitting with her. Rubbing lotion into her body. She was in so much pain. I got her the strongest medicine possible from the oncologist and told the hospital to just keep her drugged so she wouldnt be in so much pain. I told my brothers that she's not okay. They only visited her about 3 times in the whole 2 months in hospital. They promised to go see her and i told them there wouldnt be time. Thats one thing i blame myself for because my moms only wish was to see her children. I coudnt do that.. I also could not help her or "fix"her as I always promised her. To see her in so much pain is haunting me. I miss my mom. My life for the past 3 months was my mom every single day. Now thats gone and I really struggle to cope 
96
Sibling Loss / loss of siblings
« Last post by Barb1951 on March 24, 2019, 11:26:13 AM »HI, my name is Barb. In Sept. 2017 I lost my younger sister, Mary 64 and the following March, I lost my other sibling Ron 70. I feel so lost and there is not a support group in my area, so thought I would post here. I look forward to all conversations and suggestions .
97
Parent Loss / Re: Introductions
« Last post by Kendra8888 on March 20, 2019, 09:48:27 PM »Hi. My name is Kendra. My Mom passed last February a bit unexpectedly and my Dad followed 6 months later. I was with my Dad when he passed. I am the baby of four children, I was close to them both. I’m 47, this has been extremely hard on me. I still struggle daily. Joining this forum in hopes of finding others that understand and can help me heal. 💙
98
Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: Trying to communicats
« Last post by Caspercat on March 20, 2019, 04:44:16 AM »I'm sorry you feel that way Dannyswife. When I found this site after my husband passed away I found a lot of helpful information reading others' experiences. I have just entered the second year since his passing and am finding I am just now starting to get my head out of the fog that I spent the past year in. Know that you are not alone on your journey of grief. Remember that you must give yourself permission to grieve and if others don't understand, it is not your problem, it is theirs.
I wish you all the best. Don't give up looking for the support you need, it is out there, sometimes it takes a while to find the right fit for your situation.
Let all of your good times together fill your mind and remember that your loved one would not want to leave a legacy of sorrow and pain behind.
A friend in grief.......Caspercat
I wish you all the best. Don't give up looking for the support you need, it is out there, sometimes it takes a while to find the right fit for your situation.
Let all of your good times together fill your mind and remember that your loved one would not want to leave a legacy of sorrow and pain behind.
A friend in grief.......Caspercat
99
Spouse, Partner Loss / Trying to communicats
« Last post by Dannyswife on March 16, 2019, 08:13:38 AM »I found this website and thought I might have finally found the help I've been searching for. Guess not. Thanks for more confusion and rejection.
100
Main / Lost in grief
« Last post by Dannyswife on March 15, 2019, 10:27:50 PM »Hello. I don't know if this is where I'm supposed to be or what I'm supposed to do, but I've been looking for help every since my husband was ripped from my life. My Danny suffered an aortic aneurism and was gone after 5 hours in surgery. He was healthy. We had not a clue. Danny and I had celebrated our 43rd wedding anniversary less than one month before. We fell in love as kids and grew up together. I do not know how to live my life without him.