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Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: Hi Mark
« Last post by JustMark on March 16, 2018, 10:39:42 PM »
Thank you Mousewife and Raven, as far as my health the Gabapentin and PT are really doing the trick. I haven't experienced any more pain this last month and I been doing the PT exercises at home now. Tunnie is a different story though she is starting to slack off on eating. Skipping meals and when she does eat it's only about half of what she eat and Sox and Two Toez takes turns laying on the floor by her bed to alert me. Two Toes offered her his favorite chewy. So there isn't much more I can do for her so I'll finalize the arrangements with the vet for the beginning half of next week. I have picked up my guitar and gotten back into daily practice. I also got another guitar. A hollow body so I can learn some styles of blues and jazz. I didn't practice today though. My heart wasn't in it as it's Gina's anniversary. It's now been a year. As I look back one minute it seems like I've done a lot and the next I wonder if I did anything at all last year.You wonder where the time went and then realize how many times it seemed to drag on. I still feel a sense at times that things are going to be ok. I catch Tunnie looking off like she sees, hears or senses something. She will suddenly lift her head and look up in the direction of the hallway or the other side of the room and once in a while she will howl like we all used to do when Gina and Sarge were still here.
Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: 10 months
« Last post by JustMark on March 16, 2018, 09:55:00 PM »
Hi Raven, I'm hoping with you getting results I hope it answers some questions and perhaps bring you some closure. It would have driven me nuts if I had questions of what happened with Gina on my mind. It was like that for me and my brothers with my dad when he died. We never got any answers. We had suggested it but my mom didn't want it investigated. I'm not sure why maybe she felt my dad had suffered and poked and prodded enough his last couple years. Maybe like you had mentioned my mom didn't want to relive my dad's episode either. My mom had rode in the ambulance with dad to the er. I was the first one mom called after dad died. So maybe she didn't want to relive it. Anyway I'm on standby if you need someone to talk to and I'll pray for God's help you tonight.
Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: 10 months
« Last post by Raven2017 on March 16, 2018, 06:03:15 AM »
Today, the review into Jim's death is complete and I am meeting with the Board to hear the results.  My sister is coming with me and I am so scared.  We all know where the blame falls but we also know that they will never admit it even though we did not and never will sue for money.  That wouldn't bring Jim back and that is the only thing that I want. We just want accountability and we want things to change so this doesn't happen to another family. 
I want them to see Jim as a person so I am going to be his voice.  I know he will be there with me but I wish, at the end of the review, they would just give Jim back to me and we can all pretend that this nightmare didn't happen.  I don't want to go and relive the horror of April 12th and 13th.  I don't want to hear them "de-personalize" Jim.  I'm not sure if I will make it through today.  They took my heart away and life will never be the same again.  Jim is in my heart and will be be there with me, I know this, but I wish I could just feel the strength of his hand as we work through this.  He always made me feel so safe and I miss him so much.
Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: Hi Mark
« Last post by Raven2017 on March 16, 2018, 05:46:42 AM »
Hi Mark,

I'm thinking of you today.  I hope everything is still going as well as can be expected for Tunnie.  These are hard times for you.  I hope you've been able to pick up your guitar a little more often....from reading your posts, it seems to help you.  Take care of yourself.
Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: Where is my new life?
« Last post by Terry on March 15, 2018, 07:59:01 PM »
((((((((mousewife))))))) :love9: :love9:
Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: Hi Mark
« Last post by mousewife on March 15, 2018, 07:56:37 PM »
Hey Mark,

I'm so sorry to read of your health issues and your dog"s health issue.  I know that's so hard.  I've had to end the lives of three much loved cats since my husband died.  One the same year he died.  It kills me every time. And every time I say I will never get another one.  Oops, I did it again.  Only this one is kind of nuts. Never had a bad one before.  All of them were strays or rescues.  This one was in two shelters in two different counties before I took her.  She is not a good, sweet cat.  But I still have hope for her to get there.

I hope you will have some comfort during this process and that your own health issues will improve.

Peace and Healing,

Spouse, Partner Loss / Where is my new life?
« Last post by mousewife on March 15, 2018, 07:46:07 PM »
Hi All,

Maybe I should post this under grief unrelated to death, except that it is due to the death of my husband 11 years ago this coming Sunday. It's not really a grief thing, as much as it is a sorrow and frustration that I can not for the life of me, find my new life.  I don't live in the past.  I have let that go years ago.  But in spite of the many things I have done, trips I have taken, volunteer work I have done, ministry I have created, Meetups I have hosted and participated in, and friends I have made,  I do not find the happiness and fulfillment that I had with my husband.  I even sold our home that I loved, thinking it would help me, but the house I am in now does not hold a candle to the one I had.  I couldn't afford one like I had. Really stupid.

I would love to move on to my happy new life, but, where the heck is it?

Thanks for letting me vent.

Peace and Healing,
Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: 10 months
« Last post by Terry on March 12, 2018, 12:53:19 PM »
(((((Raven))))) :love9: (((((Mark)))))
Child Loss / Re: Where is everyone from?
« Last post by Terry on March 12, 2018, 12:51:45 PM »
Hi Donna,

I'm so sorry to read of the loss of your precious daughter. As a Mom who has buried her children I certainly understand the awful pain you're in.

Welcome to Webhealing.

Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: Introductions thread
« Last post by KIM61 on March 11, 2018, 11:07:59 AM »
Hi JustMark
You are right no matter of the time it is still a shock when the time comes.  I think the healing has to come on its own no matter how long.  I don't feel any hurry and I just keep going one day at a time. Will have you in my prayers as you approach one year. Hope you have a peaceful time and enjoy many good memories. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experience.
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