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Parent Loss / Re: my heart is torn to pieces
« Last post by Terry on October 17, 2017, 09:02:22 PM »
I am feeling so broken I lost my Mom in February Dad in July Our fur baby and my 16 year old grandson in September a week apart.


I'm so very sorry to read of the multiple deaths of your loved ones that you are living with at this time. It is heartbreaking.
Welcome to our Webhealing family.

As you are able to, please tell us something about your precious loved ones as they were all so special to you. Also if you would like to post their names and dates (Angel, Birth) I will post them on the calendar and they will always be remembered here on Webhealing.
If I can do anything for you, feel free to either message me or post it on the board.

We're here for you.

Hug & understanding,
Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: Gina's Birthday
« Last post by Michelle C on October 17, 2017, 07:49:41 PM »
Hi Terry!!! Its been a very long time. Im doing okay.. and you??
Life has been one roller coaster ride for me..
My mom moved up here 5 years ago. (She moved in with me 3 years ago) 
Sadly, she passed away on the 8th :-(  My House is so quiet now.
With every death, my heart breaks a little bit more.

What have you been up to? Hows life?
Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: Gina's Birthday
« Last post by Raven2017 on October 17, 2017, 12:40:41 PM »
What a wonderful memory to have.  It sounds like a birthday that created memories of Gina for everyone involved.
Spouse, Partner Loss / 6 months and 4 days
« Last post by Raven2017 on October 17, 2017, 12:37:39 PM »
I haven't posted very much lately as I was feeling like I had nothing positive to offer and then I realized that this is not what this site is all about.  I have learned a lot about coping on this website and it's helped me through the first three months knowing that others feel the same way as I do... it probably makes good sense to continue.  In my world, I have lots of support but no one can actually relate to how it feels to lose your best friend, your soul mate. 
Well, it's a little over 6 months since Jim passed away.  I still feel like it happened yesterday and I still find it hard to believe that he is not physically here.  If I could wish him back, he would be standing beside me right now. I was getting through most days in a semi-productive way but then I had a 60th birthday dinner for my sister in September and it has been downhill since then.  Jim passed away in April and would have turned 60 in June and while I love my sister, it just reminded me that Jim didn't get to be 60 or do the things that he was expecting to do after working so hard his whole life.  It was probably a mistake to have the dinner but I have a big family and Jim and I usually have all the numerous family functions.  I did learn my lesson and our Thanksgiving dinner (obviously Canada) was very small with just my daughters and my parents....that was still hard.
All these firsts.  I wonder how on earth people make it through this.  I start to feel strong, like I may make it through and then I come crashing down really hard.  I am not depressed, just so sad, but each day, I am not sure how I am going to feel and honestly, it changes about 10 times during the day as does my thought process.  My mind is still kind of all over the place, I am never sure what  is going to come out of my mouth.  I am a very private person and I am both physically and emotionally exhausted by trying to show a strong front to everyone.  Honestly, I don't want to participate 100% in life right now.  I am probably at the 50% mark.  I still want time to myself, I want to pick and choose what I feel capable of doing on a given day and I don't want to have to waste the energy coming up with excuses.  I just want to be able to say "Not today" and have that taken at face value.  Does this make sense to anyone or am I being selfish?  Jim was my best friend, so vibrant and strong, we were the best team together.  To lose him so unexpectedly and unnecessarily is really hard to wrap my head around.  I am constantly aware  that he isn't here and I never had a chance to say goodbye and that is the part that plays on my mind the most right now and probably always will.
October has been bittersweet.  My daughter had a beautiful, healthy baby boy.  I am so grateful and happy but then I feel so sad that this grandson won't know "Papa".  Jim was like a kid himself around the grandkids, he was so proud of them and they loved him so much.  They're pretty young so while they will keep Jim's memory with them for awhile, it makes me sad that this baby will not have any memories of Jim.  I know life goes on but I want it to go on with Jim in it.  I also know that isn't possible....
My Dad had open heart surgery in October as well.  He is 79 and is recovering fabulously.  While I love him so much, I can't help but wonder why they were so good with my Dad and so incompetent with Jim.  A little bit of anger which I try very hard to keep in check.  The hospital is in the process of completing their review into Jim's death and Health Services will finish their review by early December.   I am torn by this as I want the people responsible to be held accountable but whatever happens, the end result is that I won't get what I want which is to have Jim back with me. 
Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: Happy Birthday Mark!
« Last post by Raven2017 on October 17, 2017, 11:52:05 AM »
Happy Birthday, Mark!
It is funny how fast time goes when you look at our ages.  I am 57 and my oldest daughter just turned 35.  I look at her and wonder how is that possible when I am not that old and then I remember that I's kind of funny.  I hope you enjoyed your day in a way that was good for you.
Parent Loss / Re: my heart is torn to pieces
« Last post by JustMark on October 17, 2017, 09:34:15 AM »
I'm sorry for your losses JIm, that many real close together is quite a lot. I imagine it can seem overwhelming but I do know there is a way through it in dealing with loss and we can help give you with encouragement. We share our experiences in what worked for us in dealing with our losses as they very much life changing events. From sharing those experiences and what works for us we not only learn we can continue on but we can still experience moments of happiness. We also learn new lessons and new wisdom from our deceased loved ones in hind sight that we can share and in a way they get to live on in continuing to help others.
Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: Happy Birthday Mark!
« Last post by JustMark on October 17, 2017, 08:42:05 AM »
Thank you Terry, I find it hard to believe I hit 56. Where does the time go? It just seems like yesterday I graduated from high school with all the dreams of a teenager and his guitar. A wild child out to set the world on fire wi9th no intentions on going to college unless I majored in music, was never going into the military and going to be financially set by the age of 21. Luckily every single one of them were never achieved. Actually they were replaced with more realistic ones as I got older and the new dreams became real. I went to college for engineering, went into the Army, put the guitar away and became a dad and now with wisdom look back through the years I actually did more then I originally planned and understand that both the good and bad that I went through is what  it took for me to become the person I am today. It's a good thing too because if my original dreams would have came true I would not have learned to appreciate anything given to me nor the hard work and sacrifices of others. It took both the good and bad I went through and that appreciation to make me the man I am today.
Parent Loss / my heart is torn to pieces
« Last post by jim on October 16, 2017, 08:08:43 PM »
I am feeling so broken I lost my Mom in February Dad in July Our fur baby and my 16 year old grandson in September a week apart.
Spouse, Partner Loss / Happy Birthday Mark!
« Last post by Terry on October 16, 2017, 03:36:03 PM »
Happy Birthday Mark! :occasion13:


Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: Gina's Birthday
« Last post by Terry on October 13, 2017, 06:44:09 PM »

Hey Michelle! How have you been? I'd love to know. Sure has been awhile. :icon_flower:

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