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Messages - sissy

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31
Parent Loss / Re: My Mom/details of her death
« on: July 23, 2011, 01:12:31 PM »
oh, terry......
 i can still feel tremendous love through your words.....
thank you for sharing......
big hugs......sissy

32
Parent Loss / Re: how to start living again.....
« on: July 23, 2011, 01:03:30 PM »
i finally have a some time alone to read and respond to all of your kind and loving words.....i find it hard to connect to much of anything these days....but please know, my dear friends,  that your warm words and personal stories make me feel such gratitude, love and understanding......and the tears that spill down my cheeks are tears of tenderness.....
i will try to share more about my "sweetest-heart" .....for there are endless and i do mean endless stories to share when it comes to my mama!!!  just need a little bit of time....but, thank you for making me even "want"  to start to share!  hope that makes sense... kind of choked up...(but in a good way.)
i am so blessed to have all of you in my life.
always- sissy

33
Parent Loss / how to start living again.....
« on: July 16, 2011, 08:06:53 PM »
it's been almost ten months since i lost my mom.....i am really in a bad place and i could really use some advice.  it seems as though the pain of losing her just isn't getting any easier...just different.  in some ways it's almost getting harder.  i have just about cut out everyone in my life that cares about me or whom i have cared about. (other then my husband and my son)... but, if we didn't share a home i wonder how much time i would be spending with them.  i feel so horrible having just said that, but the "darkness" just seems to be taking all of me. 
i still go to work, and handle a very stressful job for all intended purposes.....i have numerous conversations throughout the day and can put on my game face pretty well....but when i leave work all i want to do is come home and be left alone....
it seems as if the flavor of life is just gone....nothing is as it's supposed to be....and i don't know what to do....i just can't stand that she isn't here in the home that we shared.....the pain is unbelievable.  will i ever start living again? and why am i pushing my loved ones away? 

34
Main / Re: Where is everyone from?
« on: July 10, 2011, 05:49:21 PM »
Originally from San Diego, CA......last ten in Springdale, AR

35
Parent Loss / Re: Unsure
« on: June 11, 2011, 07:40:40 PM »
it's been a couple of months since i have visited this site.....not quite sure why .... but when i read your words it really brought alot of intense emotion that i guess i haven't been feeling for some time....haven't been feeling much of anything in the last couple of months.
i'm so sorry for your loss....i do understand, i lost my "bestest friend" last september (28th) and nothing seems to make sense anymore.....like you, my mom was my everything.....and the "flavor of life" just seems to have left me. on the surface i probably seem ok, but i am the manager of a retail store and i guess i have learned through the years how to put on my game face......but there are moments when i look around, and wonder, how can life  continue to go on so "normally" when the most beautiful person in my life (and so many others) is no longer here to share it.....she was so alive and had so much love....
i'm trying to find something....anything......that will make me feel again....
so, while i'm not cornering the market on sadness.....i really do understand....and i hope for all of us....that it does get easier....
take care of yourself - sissy  -




36
Parent Loss / Re: PAW
« on: March 26, 2011, 07:03:44 AM »
thank you.....
hope all is well with you.

37
Parent Loss / Re: PAW
« on: March 21, 2011, 03:16:43 PM »
I don't know anything about 'PAW'  .... can you fill me in?  thanks - sissy

38
Sarah....I am truly sorry to read about your sweet mom.  I sent you an email....i can only pray that you will be kind to yourself....(as i am trying to do, too) i'm afraid that this is the hardest journey of my entire life....and the reality can be so unbelievably painful....i will keep you in my thoughts, my heart and in my prayers....
i'm here if you want to talk.   -sissy

39
Parent Loss / Re: I have lost my best friend
« on: February 22, 2011, 06:27:24 PM »
I can only tell you that i have had many similar experiences like the ones that you described since i lost  my mother, and like you.....my very best friend. It has almost been 5 months since she died.....and i don't know if i am the one to tell you what is or isn't normal.....but one thing that i have learned about this wonderful site, is that there is no right or wrong....but there is a lot of caring people.... with all different types of loss and pain....and support that has helped me at some very bleak moments.  I won't say that my life is back on track or that it is getting easier (many well wishers have told me that one).....but what i can tell you is that i am still here, and for me....that is saying more than i've shared with anyone before.....
I started writing down my thoughts at different times of the day/night....sometimes just a line or two....sometimes much more and sometimes i found myself writing to my mom.....and i don't know why, but it has helped me through some dangerously low times.  I am a mother of a wonderful 25 year old son and a wife of a very tender man.....and even though they have been so wonderful and understanding......i find that i have had to force myself to focus on there need for me to come back.  I am trying so hard to find my way back and i do believe that some of the fog is lifting.
I will keep you in my prayers.....always, sissy

40
Parent Loss / Re: my dad will be gone " 1 yr." tomorrow
« on: February 22, 2011, 05:58:20 PM »
I will have you in my heart and in my prayers.......Those were lovely photographs that you shared.....With tender thoughts, Sissy.

41
Parent Loss / Re: Lost
« on: January 18, 2011, 08:05:35 AM »
I have been in hiding ..... i guess.  It seems like all i have in me these days are.....my son, my husband and work.  I feel so bad for not responding to any and all of you wonderful people that have had me in your thoughts and prayers. It seems like the simplest tasks (like checking my email) has been next to impossible. Even phone calls to close friends and family have me playing dodge ball.....yet i talk to strangers about the most important and personal feelings in my life.....
Hoping that this latest "stage" will not last too much longer.....but, who knows?
When i read "Lost" it just made my heart swell with tenderness for what is going on in your life...I wish so much that i had something more than "this" to share in your saddest time.....please know that i will keep you in my prayers.
Love - Sissy

42
pretty rough.....but trying to hold on.....thank you, i hope that your new year brings you peace and happiness.....
love, sissy

43
Parent Loss / Re: Chat for Christmas
« on: December 26, 2010, 12:33:46 AM »
Well here i am ...... after the perfectly put "brutal" holiday......thank you for your kindness  in all of my darkest hours....you are a blessing.
sissy

44
Parent Loss / Re: missing dad so badly
« on: December 26, 2010, 12:29:39 AM »
Your words brought tears to my eyes....i am so sorry for what you are going through...i just lost my mom september 28th....and today was just not right without her here with us. I can only hope that you made it through with the people that care about you....
this is an impossible time in our lives and  i have know words of wisdom ..... but i do wish you well.

45
thinking about you and your brother this Christmas.....I hope you are well.
sissy

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