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Messages - Judy-Marc's mum

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46
Child Loss / Re: Wesley Hammel's Angel Date
« on: November 07, 2007, 05:42:27 AM »
I hope that you feel his breath on a breeze. Thinking of you on this day.  Sorry I am late.
love Judy

47
Child Loss / Re: Sharing
« on: November 03, 2007, 07:04:58 PM »
What a beautiful Poem.  It does say it all. 
We were at a friendís place last night and her son and Marc had been friends since they were 4 yrs old.  We were sitting around with her other son and talking about the kids and stories were told.  Ones that Marc and Matt were involved in, only Matt was mentioned.  I said to her after the others had left that she could say his name as well.  She replied ďI didnít want to hurt youĒ so I told her that it hurts more by not saying his name.
Love you my baby. 

48
Child Loss / Re: Welcome WendyRN
« on: October 31, 2007, 05:24:47 AM »
Rely from my post (on there as well)

Hi Wendy,
Your in-laws are so cruel. We talk about Marc so much between all our families. (Friends donít get it) but I could not imagine talking not about him.  Talk about Keith and if they donít like It, it is their problem, not yours.   Put it in their face where it belongs.  He Belongs and always will.  Donít let them pretend otherwise
Love Judy

49
Child Loss / Re: Happy Heavenly Birthday Philip
« on: October 29, 2007, 06:45:57 AM »
Happy birthday Philip
Now and for ever

50
Child Loss / Re: Landon's Birthday
« on: October 29, 2007, 06:44:33 AM »
Happy birthday Landon

51
Child Loss / Re: This is the best site
« on: October 27, 2007, 01:52:55 AM »
Hi Judy.  No we are not in Canada.  I am from Australia, hence the times on my posts.  I am not really up that late even though it feels like it at times.

52
Child Loss / This is the best site
« on: October 26, 2007, 07:09:22 AM »
I am SO glad that I found this site.  Found it yesterday.  Questions that have been going round in my head have finally found some answers.  It has been 10 1/2 months now since Marc left us and I really have had no one to talk to up here, and when I do mention his name eyes seem to glaze over.  I found this poem quite some time ago and I think that it relates to all of us, so I thought that i would share it with all of you.

Hello, Old Friend,
Oh, yes, you know
I lost my child a while ago.
No, no please
Donít look away
And change the subject
its ok.
You see, at first I couldnít feel,
It took so long, but now itís real.
I hurt so much inside you see
I need to talk,
Come sit with me?
You see, I was numb for so very long,
And people said, ďMy, she is so strong.Ē
They did not know I couldnít feel,
My broken heart made all unreal.
But then one day, as I awoke
I clutched my chest, began to choke,
Such a scream, such a wail,
Broke from meÖ
My child! My child!
The horror of reality.
But everyone has moved on, you see,
everyone except for me.
Now, when I need friends most of all,
Between us there now stands a wall.
My pain is more than they can bear,
When I mention my child,
I see their blank stare.
ďBut I thought you were over it,Ē
Their eyes seem to say,
No, no, I canít listen to this, not today.
So I smile and pretend, and say, ďOh, Iím okĒ.
But inside I am crying, as I turn away.
And so my old friend, I shall paint on a smile,
As I have from the start,
You never knowing all the while,
All Iíve just said to you in my heart.

Thank you all for what I have found here.

53
Child Loss / Re: Laine, Brynns's Mom Needs Us ... Now
« on: October 26, 2007, 06:19:45 AM »
Lainie, You must not give up.  Talk to us any at any time. some one will be here to help, listen to you vent or anything else you want to say.  I am a real newbie at this but the answers to the question that I asked have been really helpfull.  Please let us help you

54
Child Loss / Re: How do we do it?
« on: October 26, 2007, 05:54:00 AM »
One day at a time is the best way that I have found and if other people canít deal with that, it is their problem, not ours. 
I am going back to work on Monday after having 3 months off for the same company in a different capacity.  At least they all know about Marc.
Have you changed jobs since Jason passed away?  It sounds like you have.
I wish you all the best with your surgery.

55
Child Loss / Re: Birthdays & Angel Days
« on: October 26, 2007, 01:36:55 AM »
Marc Aidan Nuyens

Birthday 1st September 1988

Angel day 10th December 2006

56
Child Loss / Re: Introducing Our Precious Children
« on: October 26, 2007, 01:33:31 AM »
Marc Aidan Nuyens
Birthday 1st September 1988
Angel Day 10th December 2006
Marc was born in a small mining town called Karratha which is in the North West of Western Australia and was a very happy baby with a big sister and brother to dote over him, there was an age difference between them.  8 yrs for his sister and 5 yrs for his brother, so you can imagine how spoilt he was.  He lacked for nothing in the love department and he had them wrapped around his little finger.
As he grew older and started school he was very into his sports.  Soccer to start with and then later on he wanted to play AFL (Australian Rules Football) at which he did very well.  He wanted to continue to play both but with his school work starting to suffer with all the training, he was told to make a choice between them, so AFL it was.
When Marc was 16, we moved to Darwin which in the Northern Territory of Australia and he was not happy at all here because all of his friends were back in WA. 
When he finished school he got an apprenticeship as a diesel mechanic and things then started to look up for him as he was finally really happy in his life.  The guys that he worked with are very family orientated and he became part of that family. He was never home on the weekends as they would all go out camping or doing a lot of other outdoor sports.
We were invited to go to a wedding in Perth WA and left here on the Monday, after dropping him off at work and took 7 days to drive down, visiting friends and our 3 Ĺ yr old granddaughter in Karratha for a few days.  On Friday the 8th we rang him as he had forgotten my birthday the day before.  He was having a BBQ here at the house for all the guys and families that he worked with.  After chatting for about 10 mins and reminding him that I would pick him up at the airport next Friday as he was coming to the wedding and also catching up with all his mates, he said that he had to go that everyone was arriving.  Love you mum were his last words.
On Sunday the 10th December we arrived at my motherís place in Perth and had an early night after all the driving.  At midnight my husbandís mobile phone rang and it was from the NT coroners department finding out the address of where we were staying and that Marc had been involved in an accident and that the WA police would be round to see us shortly.  I woke my daughter and we found missed calls on her phone also.  We called the number and found that it was also the coroners dept.  After an hour had passed and no police had been to see us, I called him again and was told that they would be there shortly.  30mins later I called again and made him tell us over the phone (which he didnít want to do) That Marc had died in an accident at 8.35pm.  Upon hearing the news, my mother who was 85 at the time had a mild heart attack and so I had to call an ambulance for her (what a horrible night).  Luckily for us she is still going strong.  The WA police didnít get there to tell us until 2.30am.
On arriving home the next day, we were told that Marc had been fishing with the guys from work all day and that he had been dropped off here at home at about 8.00pm.  At 8.30 he decided to take my car and go somewhere (we will never know where).  He didnít have a license and I had left my keys at home because it never entered my head that he would do something like.  Not my Marc, it was totally out of character.  He was only a short distance from home when coming around a bend and he was speeding, he lost control and with a car coming in the opposite direction, my car was hit side on and he died instantly.  The rest as they say is history.
I now tell Makayla when she says that she doesnít like to go to bed, because there are monster under her there, that Uncle Marc is an angel and that he wouldnít let them get her and she goes quite happily.
Love you always Marc.

57
Child Loss / Re: Celebrating You ..........
« on: October 25, 2007, 11:59:49 PM »
I hope you enjoy your weekend Bonnie.  It won't be easy for you all.  I know what it was like for us on Marc's Birthday.  Will be thinking  of you.

58
Child Loss / What do you say?
« on: October 24, 2007, 06:20:55 PM »
My son Marc passed away after a car accident on Sunday  Dec 10, 2006 at the age of 18 whilst we were away for a wedding that he was supposed to be flying down for on the Friday, so the guilt is always there that I didnt get a chance to say goodbye.  At least I have the beautiful memory of our last words during a phone call on the previous friday (he forgot my birthday).  I love you mum.  A rare occurrence at that age.
What I would like to know is what do you say when people that you meet for the first time that ask you, how many children do you have?
I cant say 2, because I had 3.  He lived, he existed.
I would like to know how other people have coped with this.

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