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Messages - daddyslittlegirl3

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Parent Loss / Loss of self....
« on: March 28, 2012, 08:23:06 AM »
Hello to all. My name is Elizabeth and this is my first time here. I don't really know where to begin or how to start. My father, Lester Paul Phillips, passed away on March 14th and I feel as if a part of me has died and I don't know what to do. To say he was just my father is such as understatement. My two brothers and I didn't have a mother growing up so he was our mother, our father, our mentor, our friend, our champion, our hero, our everything. It was always the four of us. Through everything. He had liver disease and had been getting progressively sick but had been doing really good when he unexpectedly passed away. I relocated to Tallahassee five years ago to be closer to him in order to help him with day to day needs. He became my sole existence. My days were built around him, decisions were made around him, everything revolved around him.... and now he is gone.... and I simply cannot comprehend how to cope.  My youngest brother understands this loss but it feels as if no one else does. I haven't been able to return to work, I can barely eat, had to get on medication to assist with depression and sleep, have no desire to do anything at all. Those closest to me are getting frustrated I can tell. I feel I can't talk to anyone about my dad anymore because they just don't get it. They don't understand what it is like to no longer have a parent. I started going to a therapist because I knew this was getting bigger than what I can handle but I came here just to be around people who understand.... who know what it is like... who don't think I am dramatic... or a freak... or unstable. Who know that what I feel is a tremendous loss and a gaping hole in my heart. I just miss my daddy.

Sorry for rambling. I was just going to introduce myself and it turned into one big ramble.

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