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Messages - Lacemaker

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Parent Loss / Re: Sharon's Birthday (Lacemaker)
« on: October 10, 2017, 08:02:50 PM »
Thanks Terry,,, It has been a very rough day for me

Parent Loss / Re: Birthdays and Angel Dates - NEW!
« on: October 07, 2017, 10:27:36 PM »
My Mom (Sharon) Birthday Is October 10..their wedding anniversary Oct 9 And her Angel date is April 3rd

Hi Natalieb. So sorry for the loss of his mother. Just Mark is right until your husband feels like he needs help it's not going to help. You may have to kinda sit back and wait on him. It's hard I'm sure with having a little one. But sometimes after a loss like this we are so angry that we take it out on our loved one's that are the closest as they are right in our path. Not that we normally would say or do the things that we are doing when we are mourning a lost loved one at any other time. But we just aren't ourselves at this point. I to can understand the anger. I lost my mom in April of this year and I am still very mad at the doctors and even God. And kinda just mad at the world. It's just not fair. You think why them.  And this may be where he is at. It's so hard to lose a parent that you are close to. And especially to something as terrible as Cancer. As we watch as they suffer through the surgeries and treatments and watch are strong loved ones dwindle away. And as for his biological father since his mom is gone and has went through such a difficult time, trying to bring his father back in the mix might bring back feelings of where were you when mom and I needed you the most. Sorry we don't have the answers for you. But just know we are here to listen if you need to vent.

Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: Gina's Birthday
« on: September 13, 2017, 07:03:50 PM »
JustMark, Been thinking a lot about you lately knowing you are facing difficult days. Am so glad the Lord brought that special birthday of Gina's to remember. Those memories help us to make it through those days that we think are going to be unbearable. Just know I'm here to listen if you need a listening ear in the days and weeks to come.

Parent Loss / Re: (JustMark) Dad's Angel Date
« on: August 30, 2017, 07:39:33 PM »
JustMark. Thinking of you as you face these difficult days to come. Remembering and reliving those days. Just know you are in our thoughts and if you need to chat we are here.

Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: Been a month
« on: August 22, 2017, 06:34:15 PM »
Dear JustMark, So sorry for the loss of your friend Tim.. Seems like when we suffer one real bad loss like we all have then we get smacked in the face again. So glad you are going to be playing for the fundraiser. I think your friend would be well pleased with having you there. Glad Ben seems to be picking up the cues he is needing to be a good service dog. Let me know if the relaxation cd works. Sure could use something to help me to.

Parent Loss / Re: losing my mother to cancer. need advice.
« on: August 01, 2017, 07:22:30 PM »
Dear Northbound.. I am so sorry you are having to face this. Especially as a young adult. I recently lost my mother to a Brain tumour. And I have never been so lost in my life. I helped care for my sweet mother while believing the doctors that she was going to whip it, only for me to to watch her pass in my car while trying to get her to a hospital. I agree with JustMark I think if it was me I would go ahead and try to get married while she is still with you. You'll never regret her getting to see you happily married. As for if she whips it what to do. Just listen to your heart. I only wish I could've had more time with my mother. I've never dealt with anything so hard in my life as losing her. I suggest spending as much time with her as you can at this point. Because when you look back on this time whether it's months or years later you'll never have regret for spending to little time with her. I do as when we believed my mom was going to be ok I let my brother care for my mom when he wanted and backed away a bit and was there when he said he wanted me to spare him. Had I known I would've been there all the time. Hope you can find some peace..

Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: Been a month
« on: August 01, 2017, 07:00:00 PM »
Hi JustMark,  So glad to hear that you are picking your music  back up.. Music can be so soothing to the soul, Or at least that Is the way it always seems to me. Its like it can transform you to another place.. Also glad you are back taking care of yourself again. It is so easy to get off track while caring for a loved one and then when you realize it especially after a loss like we have all suffered sometimes you just don't even care anymore. Glad you are reaching out for the help. And so glad to hear that the VA is finally taking better care of the men and women who have served our country so bravely. As for Ben what breed of dog is he. Sounds like you are making the transition with the dogs wisely.. Hope it all works well where they can all get along.

Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: Been a month
« on: June 24, 2017, 08:44:40 PM »
Hi Mark...So glad you took your brother up on his offer. None of us need to be alone on any of those special days that are triggers for us. Proud of you for stepping up and doing more cooking to take better care of yourself. And you know that Gina would be pleased with you for it to.. Sure wish you could sleep though. Amazed you have no lack of energy.. On my long nights I sure feel zapped.. Keep taking care of yourself and try not to overdo to much. Its easy when we are trying to keep ourselves busy sometimes to not think of consequences of our actions till we are hurting.. Hope you have a good week. :cat:

Child Loss / Re: Lost my daughter
« on: June 18, 2017, 07:16:15 PM »
So sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how you are hurting. Just know we are here if you need to talk or just vent. I lost my mom a couple of months ago and found this group. .We are all here for each other. When your ready to share about her we would love to hear about her. Take care and be kind to yourself. Just know their is no right way to grieve.. Some people will try to tell you how you should feel and what to do. You won't find that here. Take care and try and have a good week.

Parent Loss / where is day
« on: May 29, 2017, 08:10:13 PM »
I really thought this would be a group to help. But seems like hardly anyone is ever on here. Maybe its just where I am at. I do want to say thanks to the couple of people who have responded to me. I guess today was especially another hard day and thought others might be on here today. Hope all is doing better. Have a good week everyone.

Parent Loss / Re: Who do I turn to?
« on: May 24, 2017, 07:26:08 PM »
 Dear BigfootsDaughter,
                                    I'm so glad you have found this group to reach out to. We may not have all the answers. But sometimes we have had similar feelings. And sometimes just knowing somebody else has felt the same pain and is here to try and help or listen means the world. I'm so sorry for both of your tragic losses. I can't even imagine losing someone that way. But I do understand the deep pain of watching a parent die before your eyes and feeling like all you want to do is run away and keep running.  Different circumstances but I to watched a parent die before my eyes. And I keep replaying those last moments all of the time. Especially during the night in nightmares. I can't help you with answers on why you can't get answers on your fathers case. But I can be here to listen and try and help if I can. I usually check in on here every night. Hang in there and if you can try to find a grief support group to go to if there is any in your area that to might help. my husband also don't know how to help me with my loss either. So I understand feeling like you are all alone and no one to listen.

Parent Loss / Re: Mothers Day- How do we cope
« on: May 16, 2017, 06:37:30 PM »
Sounds terrible but I am so glad the day is over.. Was a pretty lousy day. Mom and I to go to DQ for a cherry went and did that in her memory. but the rest of the day was tear stained. .How was your weekend. Thanks for checking in

Parent Loss / Re: Mothers Day- How do we cope
« on: May 13, 2017, 08:18:41 PM »
thanks Terry, ,I almost just want to stay in bed all day tomorrow and not come out till Monday. Unfortuneately for me sleeping is a problem to. So I guess I have to suck it up and fake the day for everyone.

Parent Loss / Re: Mothers Day- How do we cope
« on: May 12, 2017, 07:58:07 PM »
Thanks Just Mark.. I just feel so alone in this. I've had Chronic pain for years and have had to learn to fake it when I am around most people. And this is how I may have to try and do again but I think it would just be easier to just close the blinds and stay home instead.. The first week or so my friends were there to let me vent and express myself, But it seems now they avoid being alone with me. So I take that as a hint. And yes I am sure my easy frustration has to deal with the lack of sleep and grief. I wish I had words of wisdom to try and help you. Our pets do make it a little easier. I know my cat Jalo seems to know when I need her the most. I am glad that even in your loss that you see your need to keep moving forward. And don't let your self sink into the depression. I have heard that the PTSD can be very traumatic. So I am glad you see that you need to get help when needed. I am not a drinking woman as per say. But right now it would be very easy to try and numb the pain this way. I just don't understand how people can lose a loved one and just go on with life and act like nothing ever happened. I am going to try and make it to my moms grave on Sunday.  Unfortuneatley it is not in the town where I live. otherwise I think I would be there every day. Thanks for answering my post. I have tried to find a grief support group in my town unfortunealy  there are none. the closest in 45 minutes away. My husband don't want me going. But I made have to do it and he will have to just deal with it. try and have a good weekend. Sure it will be a rough one for you as well.

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