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Messages - Jarawho

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Main / I miss my daddy!!!
« on: December 18, 2006, 02:14:41 PM »
I'm very new here and I'm not real sure how this is supposed to work ??? My father just passed on Dec. 15 in Indiana and I have been told to stay away from his funeral by his best friend and his sister out of fear that his wife will start problems with me  :-\.  I spent almost two months in Indiana taking care of my dad and lost Halloween as well as Thanksgiving with my family (Husband and Son) so that I could take her abuse and be told over and over that I was not allowed to see him or be with him.

Finally, I decided that I could no longer take the abuse of my Step-Monster or any of her drug addict children or grand-children. :-\  I left Indiana on the 13th and he passed away at 6 am on the 15th.  What a Christmas present??

Now I feel overly guilty for leaving and I am having a hard time living with myself and the knowledge that my father's sister and best friend have told me that his second wife and her family will do nothing but cause a scene if I show up at his funeral - I have decided that that is not what he would want so I am staying in Washington to keep the peace for dad, but I feel that I will guilt myself to death for not being there to tell him good-bye and I love him one last time.

How do continue with life ???  How do I accept the upcoming holidays ???  How do I stop hating myself for being the black-sheep by getting a degree, owning a home, and being drug and alcohol free?

Forever missing my daily phone calls to daddy!  :'(

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