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Messages - sonya

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1
Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: Happy Birthday, Sonya!!!
« on: September 10, 2013, 07:44:44 AM »
Ah thank you very much guys xxx

2
http://twentytwowords.com/2013/08/26/widower-submits-a-song-about-his-wife-of-73-years-to-a-songwriting-contest/

I really hope that the link above works.
This is the lovely story of a 90+ yr old man who lost his wife a month before and saw a songwriting competition. He doesnt sing. He is not a musician. But he wrote this song of love for his wife. (many tissues needed but very warm and uplifting for me)
I hope that you feel as moved by this as i did. x

3
Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: Thinking of John & Kit today
« on: August 28, 2013, 01:25:35 PM »
I am so sorry that we share this month in loss. I am trying hard to turn it into a special month of memories for the future.
It is with a big smile on my face that I type this and wish you and your present partner all the very best for the future. xx

4
Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: bugger (hello again)
« on: August 28, 2013, 01:21:55 PM »
Thank you. It seems so little to say compared to the huge impact that all your messages of support have had on me. ANd again, all I can say, from the deepest part of me is sincerely, thank you x

All my big dates this month have now passed. I had a great day yesterday. Kind of like when you recover from a bad bout of flu and the first day of feeling truly well you feel like you are super human. Got loads done and felt massivley positive.
Eased into it today and hopefl for days ahead xxx

5
Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: Thinking of you, Sonya on your Anniversary
« on: August 28, 2013, 01:16:42 PM »
Thank ou so much. It is so powerful to know that sadly, I am not alone in my grief.
I guess I stopped coming here to try to move on and because it all got a bit much for a while. I needed to come up for air and get clean, live
Does that make any sense
I am so grateful to find that ou are all here for me still. Thank you xxx

6
Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: Tone's Angel Date (((Sonya))
« on: August 28, 2013, 01:12:38 PM »
wow thank you guys. Your messages mean so much and it is sooo nice to see some 'old' faces here too xxx
Take good care xxx

7
Spouse, Partner Loss / bugger (hello again)
« on: August 19, 2013, 04:12:58 PM »
Hi, its been a while since I have been here. Dont know if anyone remembers me, hope you know that I remember you despite the absence.
I find myself in hideous August again.
August is when we first met (amazing hansome pretty man, full of sunshine and white teeth and a broad smile gorgeous boy), of course our first dates, years later, when we got married (the only day of sunshine in a month of rain and floods), when we last spoke. when I last saw him and hugged him and kissed him, when he died.
All these dates are different days in different years, condensed after death into a fucker of a month. Holidays in August. Cheers Tone. U buggered that right up.
For me August is fearful. The run up unpleasant. Easy mood swings in July when I forget why I am testy.
August isnt summer holidays and 6 weeks off school.
August is loss, happy loss, sad loss, regrets and if onlys , memrories and sadness. COnfusion. Confusion. Loss of memory. Inablility to make decisions. Loss of professionalisim and expertise. Loss of focus on conversations. I dont really care. Meaningless. Clumsiness. Dog biscuits in the washing machine instead of detergent. Lifting out a baking sheet from the oven with my bare hands, there's a reminder. day dreaming disfunction and

its just me now
no one remebers
its 2 years now
people have forgotten
 they seem embarrassed and confused at work, the high flyer making basic mistakes, wanting time off
no one mentions it in the family, they forgot, i seem ok i guess
people are getting on with their lives, it seems indulgent not to be able to
people ask me if i am dating,sometimes guys ask me to date the, but it still feels like cheating even tho I really want to meet someone
I am lonely
I have sex
I cry for him
I cry for me
I have friends who never met him
I have friends wh did not know me 'before'
I am lost and needcoseting
I ask for DIY advice and am told I need a man to help me with that

8
Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: Thinking of you, Sonya on your Anniversary
« on: August 19, 2013, 04:11:03 PM »
Hi guys, thank you soo much. I just posted on the main board, took me ages to gfind the website and forgot which bit to post on. Will try and copy it over here. All a bit bleak but now really smiling to find familiar faces xxxx

9
Main / Re: Where is everyone from?
« on: August 19, 2013, 04:01:55 PM »
:) Cumbria, England

10
Main / Re: don't understand something
« on: August 19, 2013, 04:00:20 PM »
(((Mustard)))
seems a little strznge hugging a mustard! Hope that it finds you in a good place today, whatever that means. I found that lots of people grive in different ways, and that the same person can grieve in different ways, I know I have. ANd thats ok.
Maybe they dont want to talk about him, maybe they do but dont know how or are uncomfortable with all the emotions, who knows. Whatever they are feeling is ok and what ever you are feeling is ok. All feelings are fine and what they are.
Its our actions that we can chose and its our acions that can affect others. As Terry said, perhaps talking to them about that could help.
Maybe explaining how their actions of deleting your posts, made you feel in response to that, and asking for the actions that you would prefer. And sometimes its not worth it and just more fruitful coming on here and venting it all to us.
:)
Take good care xxx

11
Main / bugger (hello again)
« on: August 19, 2013, 03:37:04 PM »
Hi, its been a while since I have been here. Dont know if anyone remembers me, hope you know that I remember you despite the absence.
I find myself in hideous August again.
August is when we first met (amazing hansome pretty man, full of sunshine and white teeth and a broad smile gorgeous boy), of course our first dates, years later, when we got married (the only day of sunshine in a month of rain and floods), when we last spoke. when I last saw him and hugged him and kissed him, when he died.
All these dates are different days in different years, condensed after death into a fucker of a month. Holidays in August. Cheers Tone. U buggered that right up.
For me August is fearful. The run up unpleasant. Easy mood swings in July when I forget why I am testy.
August isnt summer holidays and 6 weeks off school.
August is loss, happy loss, sad loss, regrets and if onlys , memrories and sadness. COnfusion. Confusion. Loss of memory. Inablility to make decisions. Loss of professionalisim and expertise. Loss of focus on conversations. I dont really care. Meaningless. Clumsiness. Dog biscuits in the washing machine instead of detergent. Lifting out a baking sheet from the oven with my bare hands, there's a reminder. day dreaming disfunction and

its just me now
no one remebers
its 2 years now
people have forgotten
 they seem embarrassed and confused at work, the high flyer making basic mistakes, wanting time off
no one mentions it in the family, they forgot, i seem ok i guess
people are getting on with their lives, it seems indulgent not to be able to
people ask me if i am dating,sometimes guys ask me to date the, but it still feels like cheating even tho I really want to meet someone
I am lonely
I have sex
I cry for him
I cry for me
I have friends who never met him
I have friends wh did not know me 'before'
I am lost and needcoseting
I ask for DIY advice and am told I need a man to help me with that

12
Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: Happy Birthday, Ann! (stampinwidow)
« on: February 10, 2013, 07:55:09 AM »
Happy Birthday Ann!

So lovely that you shared what you did with us today. Lovely to have such close family as you seem to do. ANd its right that it is lessoning, feels a little strange to me as I feel it too, but it also feels right. Have a wonderful birthday and lots of fun xxxx

13
Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: It's to late to start over
« on: February 06, 2013, 10:57:30 AM »
(((((MArty))))

Many of us have had similar feelings of utter loss and suffered throughtimes when it all felt utterly pointless.
You expressed it so fully in the description of walking through life with feet encased in concrete.
But they are not. You can get free of this. You can move forward. And though it may feel really pointless, it isnt. It matters because we are here and have taken the time to write.
And the reason I took the time to write is because your words moved me. I hope one day that you have the opportunity to write another post that will move someone again. MAybe someone in the situation that you are now facing.
I wonder what words you would give to that person. What advice would you make sure that they heard when they needed it most?


Take good care,

we are all here for you,

Sonya

14
Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: Dan's Angel Date ((( Donna/moonslammin )))
« on: February 06, 2013, 10:50:26 AM »
((((Donna))))

15
Spouse, Partner Loss / Re: Hit by a car
« on: February 06, 2013, 10:48:18 AM »
((((Arthur)))))

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