Messages

1

Main / Re: So hard...

« on: February 12, 2008, 02:27:17 PM »

Thank u all for ur kind words.  This truly is so hard and all i want/need is to just fall asleep... i keep thinking if i fall asleep i will a.) never wake up or b.) it will all be a bad dream...

we had so many plans... we were going to have kids together... we were going to grow old together... that can't happen now... ever... he took it from me... forever...

i can't stop crying... i will come back when i can see and type more...

2

Main / So hard...

« on: February 11, 2008, 02:01:45 PM »

Sometimes the pain of losing my friend is just agonizing... i can't begin to understand why he chose suicide over talking things out.  i guess he felt it couldn't be talked away... funny thing is... i feel that way now too... this pain im feeling is overwheleming and complex and it is something i can't wish away... i can't think away... i can't pray away... i can't ask him to take it away... it's there... i miss him... his name is Jim... he took his life 2 days after my birthday... i CANT believe it... im so lost...