can't beleive it's been a year

[4eversissy]

I thought last year at this time was one of the hardest days of my life.. now I'm starting to think today is. Dec 23rd last year I lost my sister while she was in labor. There were no warnings no signs she just stop breathing that was it. They say it happens to 1 in every 30,000 women but I still can't come to terms with why her? For the last 3 yrs my son & I have spent Christmas with her & her husband and my 3 yr old niece. They broke her water and within 1 min after that she was gone. I was holding her hand standing right there with her expecting a new niece within hrs. No matter what I can't get the picture of her face out of my head in her last breath. I honestly don't know how to get past this. She was 7 yrs older than me & my only sibling, she was my sister & my best friend. Smart, beautiful,  funny & a wonderful mother, only is a few words to sum her up. The doctors let us see her one last time to say goodbye & in some ways I regret doing that now. I just kept rubbing her head & touching her face it just didn't seem real & now that picture is all I see. I'm so afraid that I will forget her voice her smell the small things she did. It's been a year & seems like yesterday I was standing right by her. I don't know how to do this without her. I miss her so much.

[middle sis]

4eversissy,
Wishing you comfort and peace as you stuggle through this difficult time. The shock last year compared to the reality of this year is probably overwhelming. Hang in there. An clip from a poem says " to lose ones sibling is to lose oneself".  I know a part of me left when my brother and sister died. And how close you seemed with you sis, I assume you feel the same way. Its just not fair.  Please share more about you sister, when you feel more comfortable.
We all may not have advice, but we all here "listen" well and understand.
Take Care

[Sad Eyes]

Dear 4eversissy,

I am so sorry for your loss.  Sisters are special!!  Having lost a sister and a brother, I know your grief must feel almost unbearable at times.  Holidays are a tough time of year for those of us who have lost loved ones.  You will always find a shoulder to lean on when you visit this board.  Take care!