angel dates and helldaze

[Bensmom]

I know I don't post often enough, but I am at a loss of what to say. I embrace all  of the new moms and dads here as I was embraced when I was called to join this club. The holidays are bad enough for those on this board, but I read of birthdays that should have been celebrated, Hanukka and Christmas, New Years celebrations that we will miss our children even more by their absence. This year the only trees I put up are at the cemetery, one for my husbands parents and one for Ben. I really struggled with Ben's this year. I will light Ben's tree and do the family get together on Christmas eve. I will go to Mass alone because my two living sons don't go to church any more. Even though both of my brothers and both of my sisters are home for Christmas, and we will probably number in the thirties with all the nieces, nephews and in-laws, I will still feel like I am on the outside looking in. This year I have felt so many times like I am watching a movie that I play a role in, but got edited out of. December 25 will be 8 years without Ben. Right now I am numb inside, but have a small ember of anger just waiting to explode.
I pray for all the families here and our Angels in heaven. I dearly wish for peace for all of you and wish you all soft gentle hugs.

Love, Peny-Ben's mom

[lwuest]

Like you, I'm just at a loss for words.  Just so sad, so sad for all of us here who feel the loss everyday of our children, but feel it especially hard during the holidays when everyone else is celebrating with their families.

We try, but there is a huge, huge hole in our hearts.  Thinking of all of you as I know you are thinking of me.

Linda
Mom to Stevie B
Aunt of Mel
Great Aunt of Drakie
Cousin to Chuck

All gone way too young

[Brenda Taylors Mom]

((((Peny))))) I feel exactly the same   You said it well when you said you feel like you're watching a movie you've been edited out of. Love Brenda