Everything is so still

[Terry]

And, here I am again. A total mess and crying because my favorite month has arrived with all of the wonderful memories. How I hate November and the pain that seems to get worse, not better every year.

I was walking up and down the driveway and it felt so weird. It felt like there was this whole pther person walking beside me. She/it was an entangled band of pain and darkness and I can almost see her. go away and she doesn't, not for a second.

Why after 6 years and 4 months do I still, am I still taken out of this reality and into a worse one. Going through those motions again and so sad. Sad sickness. I don't call it depression. I call it SAD SICKNESS!!!!!!!!

And, I'm sick of it and it starts the same time every year and I can't stop crying and I'm so so so so so tired!! Of this pain, pain pain pain pain pain...,

Why is this so awful and so apinful and this thing that's clinging to my side, that's joined to me at the hip, why can't I destroy it. go away i say because I know what pain is and I know becaue I live in it and I walk with it and i work with it and I go to sleep at night with it laying on my chest choking the life out of me. Why does it have to remind me of how empty I feel and how sad,sp sad I am.
Please I am just not strong enought to go through this again this year and I'm just tired and I'm just so so sad.

I want, not much. I want just a MOMENT away fromthis AWFUL PAIN!!!!!!

[MelissaCharliesMom]

Read my post a little below yours titled the month of hell and happiness...I am right there with you my friend and so damn sorry we both have to walk this path!!

[Judy, Dougie's Mom]

(( Terry ))

Me too, even if just for a moment.

Sending hugs
Love
Judy

"MAKANA LIVES"
forever in my heart

[Brenda Taylors Mom]

Sad sickness.. that says it all.

[Annie1973]

Someone I know told me I am no fun anymore because I am not celebrating any holidays.

Terry, Melissa, Dena, Judy, and my BFF Brenda and Annette, if all we have is one another to get through these coming days, I am indeed priviledged to be with you all.

All my love,
Annie (Dans mom)

[Annette]

I love you Annie, Terry, Melissa, Dena, Judy, and Brenda, and yes, you who are maybe lurking and not posting, because that was me before. We are all the same.. in pain... for eternity maybe.. or at least for the rest of our earthly lives, but we're going to make it and allow ourselves to experience some joy.

Someday, I'd love to meet any and all of you. I live in Las Vegas, so if you come to Vegas, please let me know and we can meet.

love,
Annette

[jillsmom]

So tired, so sad, that says it all. We can be grateful for the blessings in our lives and torn apart by the pain all at the same time. Do our lives make sense? NO! But, we love each other and it keeps us from flying into tiny pieces.
wishing you some peace,
Kay