taking my brother with me

[pepper309]

To some people this might sound strange (or maybe not) but I took a little container of my brother's ashes with me this weekend.  This weekend was special because I got to spend time with my other brother Skylar.  We went to an Avalanche game, out to eat, and to the movies.  I took my brother's ashes with me in my purse.  Skylar and I joked about how we should let Boz leave the waitress a tip by spreading a little bit of him on the table.  In my family we get through our grief with humor as you can tell.  On the way home I sprinkled his ashes over a rapid in the Arkansas River.  I know that my brother would have had a great time at every place that we went.  I wish that he could have been there, but I know that he was smiling since we were both having a good time for him.

[browneyedgirl]

Dear Pepper ~ No, to me it does not sound weird.  

When Tony died, my cousin gave me and a couple of other family memebers a little gold angel pin.  To me, this is symbol of Tony.  I wear it when I want to take him places with me, like when my family gets together, or I go do something fun, or just to work...I actully have it on today.  Last week my other brother and I went out for a night on the town, and I wore my pin.  My brother asked me "Hey, is Tony coming with us?" and I said "Absolutely!"

I think it's so neat that you took him with you and had a great time with Skylar!

Take care of yourself.

[Jeanneb]

Dear Pepper,

Weird??.... ABSOLUTELY NOT!!

We have a dear friend who passed away this year and his wife started a blog when he was diagnosed with brain cancer and has kept it going.  She offered all his friends if they were going somewhere exciting and thought Tom would like it that she would let them take a little of Tom with them and also a picture of Tom.  So now she posts on her blogs where all Tom has gone and his friends take his picture and send her a picture of where they have placed Tom's ashes for the blog.

My husband and I are going to Hot Springs next week and Tom is going to come with us. We are going to take him to the national park and some other state parks while we are cruising a little of Arkansas.  He was a runner and lover of the outdoors so we think he'll enjoy with us.

So as you can see you are not strange or weird in the least.  But if you are... then I'll just join you on that journey as well... LOL!  I also understand the humor... that is how our family has made it through these years and it has served us well.

We do what we do to survive... we are survivors.

Deep breaths and baby steps,
Jeanne
Philip's mom forever
Bruce's sister

[browneyedgirl]

Jeanneb ~ that is soooo cool what you are doing!  What a great idea!

[pepper309]

I have wanted to write a book about my familys' experiences since this has happened to us.  Having a whole chapter devoted to where Boz has gone in spirit would be good idea (thanks for that : )  ).  I say that whatever makes you feel better (as long as it's not harmful to you, like drugs or alcohol) is a good thing.  My brother would want us to live everyday and get out and do something.  I don't want to wallow in sadness all the time.  I do have bad days and I'm ok with that, but I want to keep moving on in a positive direction.     

[Luvinmike]

Pepper, I love your book idea and the poem is astounding. You are so creative. Sending you energy and peace of mind each day.
Terri

[pepper309]

Thanks everyone for the nice replies.  I think that finding a creative outlet for your feelings is a good because then you are taking your grief in a positive direction.  Hope all is well with all of you