My family is all gone!

[Hallowt]

Well my mother passed away in July of 2004, my father in March of 2007 and my brother in October of 2008.

I am the last of my family!

My brother had two daughters, and I know they love me.....but they have their own lives to lead.

My wife of 23 years has fallen into a deep depression and I can't get her to snap out of it.

I have so many awesome friends, ones who would give me the shirt off their back, but I still feel so alone.

I have two beautiful dogs, and a a nice place to live.....it just seems empty though.

 

[SoCal2010]

I'm sorry you're feeling alone. I can relate since I feel that way too about my family.

Is your wife on medication or seeing a psychologist? There's no way you could be expected to "snap her" out of it. It's too complicated so don't that guilt on yourself.

That's great about your dogs. I've heard pets are a wonderful thing to have when you're grieving. I hope you start to feel better soon.


(((hugs)))

[browneyedgirl]

Dear Hallowt ~ I am so sorry that you are feeling alone, I can not say more than that. 

Please take care of yourself, and keep posting and let us know how you are doing. 

[Luvinmike]

Dear Hallowt;
I'm sorry, for all of us when we feel alone. It is so unexpectedly difficult at times.
I went to a grief support group last night, and i have been talking w/ people who have experienced traumas and losses. I find it really reassuring that everyone feels alone and out of balance- or empty like you wrote. it is universally difficult I guess.
I do not know how to fix it- but I can tell you when you feel alone- you are not alone. Lots of us are with you and understand.
Take care of you- and remember the opposite of grief is action. Try to do anything- even just a walk when things get rough. I hope this helps a little. Thinking of you.
Terri

[rita-grammy]

I am sorry for your loss....I also lost my father, my mother, my brother and my beautiful daughter Becca ....it seems odd but, I noticed no matter how old you are when your parents pass away...you feel alone kind of like an orphan ....I feel alone also so I know what you are going through ....I have my husband but, sometimes hes very quiet and he is not a sharing kind of person....he does not know how to deal with my pain ....however, since Becca passed away I bought two little dogs...Odie and Baby .....they have helped me so much through all of this....trying to fight depression myself I know there is not a whole lot you can do for your wife ...except get her to seek help and medication ....depression robs you of so much ....I know the feeling...keep posting and I wish you the best

Rita

[tsurandy]

My heart goes out to you...I often feel I am alone, but I know that I have my siblings, nephews, and nieces, friends and the wonderful people on this forum. 

[Terry]

((((((Hallowt))))))

I am so sorry for your losses, so many and in such a short amount of time. My heart truly goes out to you.
I understand being surrounded by those who love us and at times, still feeling alone.

I have little family left and lost my children, but I am blessed with my sister and my dad and oh, lots of dogs!!! And, the more I know people, well, you know how the rest goes. They are wonderful friends, wonderful therapy. And, I'm glad you have them.

I try to 'hold tight' to what is in front of me and that is a lot of love. It's hard, I know, but hold on and know you are not alone. You've found a supportive group of folks here and that in itself is a blessing.

I'll be keeping positive thoughts for your wife,
With Understanding,
Terry

[Hallowt]

Thank everyone.

Things are much better this way.

I was in the hospital for a short stay.

My wife is on medicine, but she just doesn't seem to be getting better.

I just wish I could find a way back to some sort of real life.

[sevenofwands]

HallowT:

Very sorry to read of your sad losses of your immediate family. 
You say you have some awsome friends, and that is indeed a wonderful blessing, to have friends so prepared to support you.

It must be rough on you, your wife's depression.  Very hard.  No, you can't just get her to snap out of it.  A wise psychologist once said to me: "No spouse is supposed to be the other spouse's therapist".  So right.  That is the job of the qualified professional, and I would hope that aside from medication that your wife sees a therapist.  I think it would be helpful for her.
You do not say what you feel might have triggered her state of mind? 

It is important that you take care of yourself too.  Good mental health is a precious thing, and like physical health, it has to be worked at.


Best wishes
Seven

[bluegrass1965]

Hi HallowT,

Your wife may be on medication, but it may not be the right one--everyone's body chemistry is different and some antidepressants which are miracle workers for one person have no effect whatsoever on another. It can take as long as a full month to know if an antidepressant is going to have any effect, or for the doctor to determine whether the dose should be raised or lowered, etc. (Starting prescriptions are usually the lowest possible dosage.)

There are number of excellent antidepressants on the market, so if this one is not helping, talk to her MD about other options.

A regular family physician also may not have much background in mental health. You can ask for a referral to a psychiatrist if she is not already seeing one, and therapy is also an excellent suggestion. I have suffered from clinical depression for nearly 15 years now and it is a balancing act. In persons who have a family history of depression, it also can become more difficult to manage as a person ages. 

I do absolutely think it is possible for you to get back to a real life again, but where depression is concerned sometimes that means being a strong advocate for the person who is depressed.....usually asking doctors a lot of questions and pushing hard for better medical care.

Best wishes to you.