How do you keep on going?

[littleha]

Hi dc264;
Therapy did help in the sense that I had somewhere else where I could say how I feel and not feel pressured or rushed. I do get similar satisfaction by writing on this site. As with a counselor you are able to say how you feel to someone who is anonymous and can't judge you as they do not know you at a personal level. I was shown how to take my mind to another place when I feel a sense of overwhelming  grief flash in my mind such as the day I found my wife dead on our bed. She helped me with my MIL by giving me ideas on how she can also be helpful around the house. Hope this helps
Take care
Alan

[erinatkins]

I can understand how you feel & it is ok to vent. I have been doing that since I got on this site. It is good to know I am not alone in how I feel. I haven't figured out if I want to stay in this house. However I know I have been told not to make any big decision in the first year. I know there are times I try to figure out why some people suffer so much. I still dont know.

Erin
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quote author=dc264 link=topic=5591.msg40558#msg40558 date=1253463081]

I can understand how you feel. My dad died in January and my husband in April. My mom and her sister died also before that. I think I was able to do handle things fairly well until my husband died. I knew deep down since my mom had been so sick and couldn't do anything she was in a better place. My dad was also older so I could understand it since he had problems. My husband was different story since we were/are young and had alot to live for.  I am having alot of trouble with this. My daughter is what is keeping me going right now.

Erin

Erin
Hi!  I know what you mean.  I lost my dad in 11-01.  He had been real ill so I knew he was in a better place and no longer hurting.  In 12-04 my husband of 28 yrs died of a heart attack, I had just spoken to him 15 minutes before and when I got home he was dead.  It left me with 2 boys 20 and19.  They still lived at home with me.  I have to keep going as long as they were in the house but the minute I got alone I fell apart.  I can't tell you the number of hours I spent in bed crying and screaming.  In 10-2008 my oldest brother was stabbed and he died 2 days later.  I just couldn't hardly handle that, then in January 2009 my fianc'e was diagnosed with cancer on the lungs that had went to the brain and died 4-28-09.  And now here I am again trying to move on with my life and some days I just don't know I will make it this time.  My boys live in my  original home and I fall apart everytime I go into the house.  I cry all the way to my new home.  It has been 4 almost 5 years and I still  can't do it.  I t seems as I find someone or something to make things bearable I get knocked down.  This year another one of my brother in 2-09 had to have surgery on his back and he came out and couldnt walk or move his left side but with therapy he is now able to walk but in extreme pain all the time.  My mom was diagnosed with lung cancer in 4-09 and had her surgery to remove right lobe on 5-4-09 and she wound up in a semi coma for about a week, we almost lost her.  She came home after 3 weeks and the blessing is she is doing fine now, no more treatment is required at this time.  We get her checked out every 3 months.
So as you can see I have had a bad few years and I just need support to know that I am not the only one going thru things and I have to know that we all are here for a reason, and to make our mark on the world as so I will keep going a day at the time.  Sorry this got so long I just needed to vent.
dc264
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[dc264]

Hi dc264, first let me say I am so sorry for your losses. I lost my husband in June 2007 and just this past June I lost my oldest daughter. She was only 38 and it was quite sudden. I sometimes wonder why I am still here. The pain is almost unbearable. But as others have said you have to make the most out of the time we have left here. I know my husband and my daughter would want that. Somedays I just don't want to do anything and other days I make myself do things. Trying to stay busy. I do have other kids and grandkids and even great grandkids. That is what keeps me going. I am hoping you can find some kind of answer to your question. As someone told me after I lost my husband, you just keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep on going. (((Hugs)))) to you.

Donna

Hi Donna, Sorry to hear of your losses also.  It is just so hard to learn to keep going.  I am a private type person to a degree and my family knows I am hurting but I don' think anyone really gets to what extent.  So that is why I felt I needed to join this site to where I don't feel so alone.  Your right we have to keep going and I will but  I am so glad to have found a place where I can talk and get feedback to help me get stronger.  Thanks for caring.
dc264

[dc264]

Hi dc264;
Therapy did help in the sense that I had somewhere else where I could say how I feel and not feel pressured or rushed. I do get similar satisfaction by writing on this site. As with a counselor you are able to say how you feel to someone who is anonymous and can't judge you as they do not know you at a personal level. I was shown how to take my mind to another place when I feel a sense of overwhelming  grief flash in my mind such as the day I found my wife dead on our bed. She helped me with my MIL by giving me ideas on how she can also be helpful around the house. Hope this helps
Take care
Alan

Hi Alan, I was set up to see a therapist back in Nov 06, but I met my fianc'e and I felt there was life still to be lived now that I had found another wonderful man.  We had 2 1'2 good yrs before the past away in 4-09.  So I am going to try and use the site to tell how I am feeling and maybe get some peace.  What I like about the site is that if you have a bad moment you can cry and take a break and come back later and someone will still be there to talk to.
I hope that my quotes or replies are appearing where they should.  If not would someone let me know.  Thanks for your time and caring.
dc264