Miscellaneous...

[SoCal2010]

I signed up for meet-up for yoga a while back. I think I looked up grief but they didn't have one. Or maybe they just didn't have one close to me. I should double-check and look again. I guess I'll have to travel. I called hospice place and they gave me some numbers for grief groups in the next county.

[SoCal2010]

Neighbors are so strange. I feel like they are completely ignoring me. I'm glad in a way because I don't feel like talking to them. But it's weird. Maybe it's because I was kind of cold to them when it first happened. They called and I didn't really say much. But I did tell them I appreciate them calling. Now anytime I see them, they hardly wave or anything. I think they feel sorry for me.

[cokieslittlegirl]

I'm going on a little trip this weekend with my husband. Very important i think because I have not been myself for a long time. Problem is I am just not excited to go...it seems like a hassel, I don't want to leave my pets (it's only 3 days), will I have the energy for hiking etc...I guess this is the grief talking me out of going.

I know in my heart it will be good for us to spend some quality time together - no distractions of things to do or things left undone at home. Just being together. Although my husband is about as supportive as someone can get, I fear that he will tire of my grief as the others do.  It's got to be inevitable.  It's only been about 6 1/2 months and I know I have a long way to go.

I wish I could be my old self again. I want to be excited for the trip. I was always so carefree, laughing, playing.  I am now a small fraction of that person.  I miss my old self, I miss my Dad though more than anything.

[Luvinmike]

Hi Cokie,
I am thinking of you and sending you strength for your trip. I hope once you do get away, you can take adantage of the peacefulness and nature. I am so sorry for your loss, I hope you will be able to remember the love always, it never dies.
Thinking of you.
Terri

[SoCal2010]

On another forum, I read a blog from a girl who was battling cancer, then read her other blogs on her Myspace page. First off, this girl is my new hero. I was so struck by how she was still able to maintain her sense of humor in such a bad time. I was reading her blogs and anytime she would make a little joke, I was just amazed at how wonderful her attitude was.

Here are the blogs if you want to read them, start from the bottom. They are dealing with cancer so of course it's sad, but her attitude just made me feel so proud of her even though I never met her.

http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.ListAll&friendId=56914145

[sevenofwands]

Peace of mind. 



"""You can turn peace of mind into a natural habit, but to do so, special training is required, through concentration exercises, meditation and other means. Browse this website, and you will find articles, advice and techniques for attaining peace of mind, as well as a special book dedicated to this subject.

Here are a few simple things that can help you:

Reduce the amount of time you read the newspapers or watch the news on TV.

Stay away from negative conversations and from negative people.

Don't hold grudges. Learn to forget and forgive. Nurturing ill feelings and grievances hurts you and causes lack of sleep.

Don't be jealous of others. Being jealous means that you have low self-esteem and consider yourself inferior to others. This again, causes lack of inner peace.

Accept what cannot be changed. This saves a lot of time, energy and worries.

Every day we face numerous inconveniences, irritations and situations that are beyond our control. If we can change them, that's fine, but this is not always possible. We must learn to put up with such things and accept them cheerfully.

Learn to be more patient and tolerant with people and events.

Don't take everything too personally. Some emotional and mental detachment is desirable. Try to view your life and other people with a little detachment and less involvement. Detachment is not indifference, lack of interest or coldness. It is the ability to think and judge impartially and logically. Don't worry if again and again you fail to manifest detachment. Just keep trying.

Let bygones be gone. Forget the past and concentrate on the present moment. There is no need to evoke unpleasant memories and immerse yourself in them.

Practice some concentration exercises. This will help you to reject unpleasant thoughts and worries that steal away your peace of mind.

Learn to practice meditation. Even a few minutes a day will make a change in your life.

Inner peace ultimately leads to external peace. By creating peace in our inner world, we bring it into the external world, affecting other people too."""


http://www.successconsciousness.com/peace_mind.htm

[pepper309]

I haven't thought much about going to a grief group.  I think that I would rather just call up my other brother and talk to him because we are both going through some similar issues and we are both grieving over the same person.  I suppose they are helpful for people who have no one to talk to.  As for the issue of memorials and funeral I completely agree that they should be focused on the person who passed and not on trying to call people to a certain religion.  I planned my brother's memorial out to where people could get up and talk about him.  It was wonderful to hear all of the great things that his friends had to say abou him.  My mom's minster talked as well but he didn't make it all about religion which was nice.   Then we played a song from a band that Boz liked.  I think that my brother would be happy about the memorial and the fact that we had a huge get together at my parent's house afterwards. 

[sevenofwands]

SoCal:

How are things?  (aside from the housekeeping lol).

All the best
Seven

[SoCal2010]

Hi Seven - Aside from cooking a million meals a day, I guess I'm doing okay, just keeping busy. I think I'm in a detachment phase or something. Maybe my brain needed a break. My mind is kind of blank on everything, I don't feel emotion unless I let myself think about it, which I haven't been doing. Maybe that's bad, I don't know. I'm trying to get my stuff organized here in the house. I have been reaching out to 2 new friends so they have helped a lot. I'm still always looking for things that might help me, lately I've been thinking kick-boxing might be a good way for me to release some of the anger feelings I have.

How have you been?