Feeling angry

[pepper309]

  It has been a month since my brother passed.  I have been feeling sad and somewhat depressed this whole time, but now I feel angry on top of everything.  I am mad that not one of my brother's friends stopped him before he left and told him to stay since he had been drinking.  We found out that his alcohol level was .256  I just wish that they would have cared enough to not let him go.  I told my mom that I wanted to write a letter to our local paper calling out his friends (w/o using names) for what they did.  She doesn't want me too because she forgives them.  She said that it is something that they will have to live with for the rest of their lives.  I will forgive them in time, but right now I am mad.  My brother will never graduate college, never find a job that he loves, never get married or have kids.  His friends get to have all of that.  If I ever come across any of them I don't know what I will say.  I just wish all of this were a bad dream and that I would wake up and it would all disappear.

[browneyedgirl]

Dear Pepper ~ all to familair I am with the emotion of anger.  I was soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo angry at everyone, it did not matter who it was.  My family, God, the guy at Circle K, didn't matter.

I found myself focusing my anger on my father.  I composed a rather lengthy and hateful email to him, but first sent it to my other family member, I was encourged by them not to send it.  I did not end up sending it at their request, but a couple of weeks later, I found that my anger was starting to let up and turn into intense sadness. 

I even posted about my anger, it was called "When will I Stop Being so Angry"...if you want to read it.  I have seen a lot of others on here posting abuot anger....I guess what i am trying to say, is that you're not alone with your feelings.

I believe what your mother is saying is true...listen to her, Mom's know alot 

I am so sorry, again, that you lost your brother, I know that is was the worst day of my life when I found out Tony had died. 

Take care. 

[laurenE]

Pepper,

I am so sorry for your tragic loss.    I encourage you to write a letter to those friends  but dont send it.   Writing it out will release some of the anger you are carrying around.   Anger turned inward = depression.  Dont let that happen to yourself.

If you write a letter to the newspaper,   you would be assuming that those guys would read it.  Thats a big assumption.   Some people dont get the paper.  Others skim it at best.   So I wouldnt waste my time with the newspaper.    Write the letter to those guys,  tell them everything they feel,  use every word you need to use,   but dont send it. 

I hope this helps.
I'm glad you are writing to us.
lauren