physical/other problems

[teppuM999]

when matthew died, i was standing right there. he was too far out for me to reach him, his friend went after him, i watched his head go down twice, and i can't get that out of my mind.

physically, my joints hurt, and my stomach is constantly upset, and i have alot of pain in my head and neck especially behind my eyes.

haven't had a "dream" in a while, usually after those, when i would go to see him, i would actually feel rested and okay in the morning. well after the initial "why am i still alive?" would wear off.
now i just feel like a beat up flour sack.

sometimes i wish i hadn't been there. but how much more horrible would it be, i guess, to look back and see that i wasn't there for the last bit of his physical life? we were always together.

my spirit and my heart hurt enough as it is, and this ridiculous body that is doing nothing but trapping me here is just complicating everything with all of the physical aches. there is way too much going on, i can't deal with all of this.

[georgiapeaches]

Hi Teppu.
you really need to take care of yourself, the physical comes from all the frief you are feeling, so try to get alot of rest and at the same time take walks , I tried yoga and at first it hurt, but now as my body is stretching, it is feeling better. try to drink plenty of fluids, water is the best, DO NOT  let you body get run down. just make sure you take care of you.

georgia.

[sevenofwands]

Teppu:

What Georgia just said.
Stress produces physical symptoms, the anxiety accompanying the grief.  Do take care

Seven

[teppuM999]

i get exercise via bellydance and yoga but i'm having a harder and harder time finding the motivation. don't care about shows anymore; it was always so nice having matthew there.
trying to stay up and positive, it's just hard.

[sevenofwands]

It is hard, Teppu, very hard.  Getting the motivation is so difficult, yet getting into the dance itself is a liberating feeling, hearing the music and the rythym.  I find bellydancing fascinating, and wonderful to watch.   A real discipline.  Then again, I love dance and music. 

Hope all this gets a little easier.  Take care.
Seven

[Donna B.]

Teppu, I know how you feel. I have been having panic attacks since my daughter died. I have been to the doctor and he has prescribed nerve pills. I am eating more now and sleeping a little more. I still have the visions of her in the hospital and it really bothers me. Hang in ther Teppu, I am. We are all here for you. (((huggs))) Donna

[mt2186]

It's so hard. I'm so sorry for your pain. Stress does bring about physical symptoms. I've had endless stomach problems, hives covering my backs, headaches, muscle aches, general tension.

Find a friend to go to yoga with you. It will help. Please remember to be gentle to your mind and body. My thoughts are with you.