Having Such a Hard Time

[ScottW]

This past Monday marks 7 months since my sister passed away (20 days short of her 40th birthday).  I didn't even realize it was the 'anniversary' until my mom said something. We both cried a lot.  I'm just having such a hard time this week.  I can't believe it's been 7 months.  If someone was to have asked (and I didn't think about it) - I would've said 4 months - tops. 

Over the past couple of months, the 'bad weeks' HAD turned into 'bad days'.  This is my first bad WEEK in a long time.  I just miss her so much and I am so so sad.

I know that life will never be the same. I know that I will never 'get over this'.  I know there's nothing anyone out here can really say to help me.

I guess I just 'needed the world to know', "I miss you so much Jori . . . I hope you have peace . . . please take care of all of us."

[georgiapeaches]

Hi Scott,
so sorry for your pain. Just writing like you've done sometimes feels better. There are no words sometimes that will help, but just know we are here to help and support you if you need to talk.

georgia.

[Luvinmike]

Dear Scott;
I am so sorry and i'm sure everyone on this site is with you and supporting you. Your sister Jori sounds so special, and it doesn't seem fair at all. But after seven months you start to realize you cannot change this. It hurts so bad, and the missing can be unbearable.
I like the sayings about the grief washing over you like waves and sometimes retreating into restful still pools. This helps me when I feel overwhelmed, that the waves of grief will take breaks. I know walking alot is my only real consolation- I lost my husband and his five brothers and sisters are so sad and lonely. Mike was young like your sister and he died very suddenly of a heart rythym problem. I am so sorry for your family. Take good care of you and remember to look up in the sky- it seems to help a little. Thinking of you.
Terri

[ScottW]

Georgia and Terri - thank you for taking the time to respond to my post.  As I find myself saying very often (and perhaps you feel the same way?), it's just nice to know that someone is 'still' thinking about me and understands the pain I'm going through. 

Terri - I believe I am going to print out your saying about "grief and waves" -- as a lawyer (by training, I don't practice any more), that seems to bring some logic to this process; I needed that.  Thank you.

Just to give you a little more insight into my life, my parents are now raising my nephews (8 and 10).  Their dad (Jori's ex-husband) is . . . let's just say we're all better off without him in our lives (unless and until, he cleans himself up).  My parent's now have legal guardianship (at ages 63 and 66 - how amazing of them, eh?).  We are "working as a Village", it's just so hard to 'celebrate' ANYTHING without wishing Jori was with us . . . hopefully she is.

Thanks again -
Scott

[georgiapeaches]

Scott,
I'm sure Jori is resting very peacefully knowing her children are being well cared for and loved by your parents, how nice of them. My heart goes out to you and your family.

Georgia.

[ScottW]

Thank you Georgia.  That is a very very thoughtful thing to say and I appreciate it more than you could imagine.

[YoungerSis]

Scott,
I am sure it is difficult with your sister's children needing support, and God bless your parents for raising them.  I am in a similar situation - my parents (in their 80's) are helping my sister's children since their dad is not in their lives at all.

I do like the saying also about grief being "waves".  I thought I was doing so well, and I am having a bad week for some reason.

[browneyedgirl]

Dear Scott ~ so sorry that you lost your sister, Jori. I lost my brother, Tony, 3 months ago. 

You are in my thoughts.