twrogers
Newbie
Posts: 2
|
 |
« on: June 21, 2009, 06:19:42 AM » |
|
I'm a religious, non drinker, non smoker, hard working lovingly soft spoken and very sensitive man. But after three failed marriages resulting in catching a wife in bed with my best friend, to a wife running off with a drunk from a neighborhood bar, and my last wife of 22 years betraying me out of one hundred percent of everything we owned leaving me without even an extra pair of undershorts dispite us being worth about 3/4 of a million dollars being I am a jeweler by trade... ALL of my children don't love me or want me in their lives anymore. My oldest daughter has a boy 18 and a girl 19, of whom I have never been allowed to see even as babies. My next daughter has three boys of whom I have seen twice, but that was years ago. Out of 5 children, All grown, None of them want me and all hate me for their own different reasons dispite my love. Friends sneak me photos from yearbooks so I can at least see my grandchildrens photos. I hope, I pray, I move forward in life one day at a time that today will be the day God heals this family. My Mom and Dad are passed now, my youngest son wasn't allowed to go either of their funerals or he didn't want to go because I was there. He is 22 years old and threatened my life over the internet because I wrote him last Christmas. I have heard of people on death row that receive more letters and visits from family than I do. Today is Father's Day, but to me, Any Day would be Father's Day if my children could just stop to say hello, send a text, a call, or drop me a line even if it was to vent why they don't want me in their lives. At 17 years of age, I was a young man who wanted kids young so I could know my grandchildren and even maybe great grandchildren, because I lost all my grandparents when I was really to young to know them. At 55 years of age now, knowing my greatgrandchildren to come would be very possible, and yet, due to life's heart broken path, they may not even know I am alive. My closests friends ask me how I make it thru the day, but they have no idea how very badly it hurts inside. Nobody in this world around me has ever stepped forward to tell my children they are wrong about their dad. Nobody around me has ever stood up to say look, things happen, a man can get angry and out of control for a moment when his wife betrays him. You know, not knowing me, you are asking "what did he do to deserve this". The sad thing is, I have never ever hit a woman in my life. I always turned the anger on myself for my own failure at keeping my wifes happy and my children's lives stable. And out of all these years of sadness, stronger men than me might be heavy drinkers or drug users, of which I am neither. I've never used drugs and hate to even take medicines. So why do I sit here alone on Father's Day? You know, a most wonderful thing happened to me recently. I was dating, and even wanted her to marry me, but she backed out after a couple of Months and is with somebody new. But, you see, she had a 22 year old son, the same age as my own youngest son, but her son's natural father never ever wanted him, nor even recognized him as his son. This young man considers his natural father just simply a sperm donor. The wonderful thing is that this special young man also carrys with him my exact same last name and now, dispite the fact his mom is no longer in my life, he calls me Dad, Pops, and tells me he loves me. But how sad is it that I am special enough of a man to be loved by a young man who isn't my own natural son, but that my own children hate me so much they have kept my grandchildren from me. Which, to me, hurts their own children for not having the love of a grandparent in their lives. Yes, I am frustrated, sad, strong, standing here waiting, with over 200 hundred framed family photos on the walls around me of the kids growing up, a few of my grandchildren, and many of my parents and ancestors just in case my children or grandchildren would show up one day. But we all know that at age 55, or at any age, none of us know if we will be granted a tommorrow. And yet, today, being all I have in this world to enjoy, I can't because I am incomplete, a man without a family. Oh, I have a sister...but she is a woman who at 41 had sexual relationship with a 14 year old boy and is a registered sex offender. Oh yeah, and I have a brother who lives right here in the same town as me, calls me occassionally if "he needs something or needs to make a brotherly appearance", but in reality, it's only if he needs something. But hey, after all, he is a Mennonite Preacher... even though he never has been their as a brother for me, and just keeps telling me "he is sorry" my life turned out as it has. I am starting over again, rebuilding my life, my finances and my heart to find love again at 55 years of age. So for those of you who have sad stories, I hope my story lifts up your spirits, because you see I woke up laughing today, joking around, making a handful of friends laugh. After all, God only grants any of us today, so make the best of it and please, don't feel sorry for me. Instead, call your parents, go see them, give them a hug that feels like it will last forever. Ask a friend around you what you can do to help them, not money, but in actions. Do something for somebody else without them having to come to you begging for help. God will Bless you for it, just as he has done me today, because I woke up yet again this morning and have one more day, one more chance of seeing my grandchildren. As written by Thomas William Rogers 109 Cottonwood Drive, Morton, Illinois 61550 on this date, June 21, 2009.
|
Author