1 year anniversary just around the corner

[friedgen]

Hi everyone,

It has been a little while since I last came here.  Most of you know I started to date someone.  He is not as eager to get rid of me as my husbands family was hoping.  He still wants to spend time with me and does not seem to be with anyone else.  That is what he told me.  Some of my friends got a chance to meet him and thought he was nice, genuine and respectful.  I do not know what will happen next, but I know it could end at any time.  The wierd thing is that things seem to be going ok with that, but I am still finding myself so sad for my husband and wanting my old life back.  I am still having times when I just want to runaway and be with my husband.  I know better, but it still hurts so bad sometimes.  I have been thinking about my husband alot with fathers day just this weekend coming up and the 1 year anniversary on Aug. 6.  Last night the kids wanted to see home videos.  We looked at a x-mas one with my kids being younger and sooo cute.  My husband was in the video and you could see the love he had for his children and the wonderful family happiness we had when we were together with our kids.  Then, last night I had a dream were I was looking for my husband and everyone told me he was gone.  In the dream I did not believe them and would not stop looking for him.  Then it hurt sooo much when I woke up.  The grief counselor said that my grief for my husband is colliding with my feelings for the guy I am dating.  I am still feeling so much guilt and even angry at my husband for leaving even though he fought with everything he had.  I hope there is some light at the end of the tunnel after this anniversary.  Thank you for listening.  I hope others are finding some peace.  Good luck to everyone on this unwanted journey.

Friedgen

[sevenofwands]

Hello Friedgen:

It is good to see you here again!

You have the right notion: take things as they come, and don't try to second guess the "tomorrow".

I can imagine how those memories of your husband must surface all the time, and your sadness when remembering the happy times.  It is a normal part of the process. 

I am glad to hear you still have your friendship with this man.  Everyone has their problems, their inner doubts, and I expect this man is no exception. He is only human too. 

All the best
Seven

[Luvinmike]

Thinking of you and your beautiful family over this weekend and into your second year without your dear husband. I'm sorry for all you have lost but glad you are making forward steps at the same time. Continued good wishes friedgen. Terri

[georgiapeaches]

Hi Fri,
Best of luck on this journey and on your one year, its a hard day, but you get through it, (with help of course).

Georgia.

[SunLilly]

It will be a very hard anniversary.

The world just keeps turning, and those of us left behind have to make hard choices as we move forward.

I send you peace for the coming times.., you can not do any more than your best as you move forward, day by day, making the best choices that you can in any one moment.

I hope everything goes as well as it can for you and your family.

[Jap Jr]

will be a hard anniversary for you, but I suspect it is for everyone; 7 months for me on Sunday, Father's Day; one of Jim's girls text me and asked if I'd put flowers on his grave for her; she lives in Wiscosin and I am in Minnesota.

guess it would be kind of mixed feelings if dating someone and missing your husband so much, too. Then to watch the videos; how nice to have those. We don't have any videos- the closet I have to Jim's voice is a recorded message from his cell phone that someone made for me. How wonderful the children suggested to watch it - they are missing their dad so much, too.

strength to get past another 1st and the anniversary date coming up.

((((hugs)))) to all of us - I know I can always use one from my friends

Kay

[friedgen]

Thank you everyone for your helpful and kind words.  It is nice to see that there are people who understand my mixed emotions.  I also want to send out (((hugs)))) to Kay.  You can have a hug whenever you need it.  Thank you again.  I hope we all can find some peace in the days ahead. 


Friedgen

[sevenofwands]

Wondering how things are with you, Friedgen.  I think, and hope,they must be good and progressive, as we have not seen you in a while.

Seven

[Luvinmike]

(((((Friedgen))))) My thoughts are with you and your children. Sending you strength and courage in carrying on. I'm glad seven bumped up this thread as i am thinking of you also. Terri