My brother died May 3rd and his 40th birthday is this week.

[BabyDoll]

I was really looking forward  to teasing my brother on his 40th birthday.  (He's the older sibling.)  His birthday is Tuesday and I'm planning to buy a balloon bouquet and (with my children) release them into the sky. 
My husband says I'm wasting money buying my brother a card and balloons, but I don't care.  It's my way of grieving.  Since I live 1600 miles away from my brothers grave, and I can't visit his grave, I am doing other things. 

I still can't believe my brother is gone.  Every morning I wake up, remember my brother is gone and feel like I have a knife in my stomach. 

[georgiapeaches]

Dear Babydoll,
I think releasing the balloons is a wonderful idea! I'm sorry for your loss. You two sounded like you were pretty close? I hope you can come back and share some more with us.

Georgia.

[browneyedgirl]

I am so sorry that you lost your brother.  I, too, lost my older brother on March 29, 2009. 
Not a minute goes by that I do not think about him. 
This is a great site and people here really do care.

[reyssis]

Hey, I'm so sorry about your brother.  My brother, too died 3 months before his 40th birthday.  And I know exactly how you feel when you say it feels like a knife in your stomach.  It was the most awful thing that I have ever felt in my life.  My brother passed away in 2007 from an accident.  Nothing is the same since he's gone.  I still miss him a lot and I worry so much about his  now 15 year old daughter. 

I think the balloon is a great idea.  My brother's grave is 2 hours away from where I live and I told myself I would visit his gravesite or his crash site at least once a month.  But it's been kind of difficult sometimes so I may do something like that when i can't make it to his gravesite.  I mean I will definitely still try to visit him once a month, though.

I'm so sorry for your loss again and I feel your loss.  My brother was the youngest of the four of us so I always felt like wanting to take care of him.  It was so hard to know there was nothing I could do for him on that day.

[Jeanneb]

I am so sorry for the loss of your brother and certainly understand.  My brother died 13 years ago 2 days after his 40th birthday.

Yesterday was his birthday and tomorrow  he will be gone 13 years.  Then one month from tomorrow is my youngest son's 6th angel date.

This road is hard and has many ups and downs.  Not a day goes by that I don't miss them both soooooo much.

Hold on tight,
Jeanne
Philip's mom forever
Bruce's sister

[BabyDoll]

Thank you all so much...for I don't know what; but it helps that others understand what I'm going through.  I'm so sorry about your loss(es). 

My brother was a year older and my only sibling.  We were all each other had growing up. 
I live 1600 miles away from his grave and 1400 miles from my parents.  I felt comforted because I know my brother lived closer and could check on my parents as they age...now that's not the case.  I spoke with my brother two weeks before he died and he was going to check on my parents the very day he died.  (He died after midnight so it was very early on May 3rd).  My son chatted with my brother online a few hours before my brother died and my brother told him to tell me that he was going to travel down to where our parents live and check on them.  I feel a great responsibility now for my parents and it's hard living so far away.

BTW, my brother died from a heart attack...atherosclerosis.