My girlfriend of 5 months left me because of her child....

[asianpride]

I started dating my girlfriend Kendall Hamlin, back in Dec 08 and she has decided to end it on April 15, 2009. I was taking by surprise by it because I didn't do anything to make her want to leave me. We both just gotten out of a serious relationship with our ex's. We always liked each other, so we started dating in Dec. Right away we matched up perfectly. We both had lots in common with each other. She had an 18 month old girl. Very precious... Kendall adored her baby more than anything, but  she felt she was neglecting the time spent with her. When we first started dating I only saw Kendall a few times out of the week. I also used to spend quite a few nights, actually every night at her home in Weatherford, TX. I was planning to move in with her so I wouldn't have to drive out there every single night. But, her parents who rented the house out to her decided to sell the house they were living in at the present time and move back to that house with Kendall. So that ended the moving in plans. So we didn't see each other as much. We both worked together so we saw each other there, but since we were both police officers it remained strictly professional,. She got promoted to CID, so her schedule changed at work and that put a big dent into spending quality time with her daughter and spending some time with me. She also shared custody with her ex. She got her on Sat, Sun, Wed, and Thur, he got her on Mon, Tue, and Fri.  So on the days that she didn't have her daughter she would come see me. But no matter what she saw her daughter every day, but just for a few hours on the days she would come see me. We continued on this schedule for quite some time.
We had a remarkable relationship and I knew she was the one I wanted to marry. We both talked about it and she said that she loved me more than anything. She was very happy and told me that I was the perfect boyfriend. I done a lot for Kendall during the 5 months. I gave her the best Valentines Day ever, I took her out frequently, and most of all I loved her more than life. We didn't really have to many fights. I was a little jealous because we work around a bunch of male officers and she has a very flirty personality. She always have even when she first started the department 10 months ago. But she let me know right away that she did not tolerate the jealousy thing. So I pretty much started being a good boy cause I didn't want to lose my Kendall. She meant the world to me. I showed her a ring that I was planning to put on her finger on that special day. She loved it. She had no idea that I had already purchased the ring, which cost about $4000. I was planning to ask her to marry me at the new Dallas Cowboys stadium...
All those plans came crashing down on me on April 15th. On the previous day of April the 14th, we attended the Texas Rangers ball game. She was very ill so we left. That night she was very emotional and started to cry. She told me that she really missed her baby. I told her it will be okay because she was going to see her the following day. So on the 15th she gave me the bad news. She told me that she didn't have any more time for me because she felt she neglected  the time with her baby. She even talked her ex into allowing her to have Clara every day and he agreed because he's a good daddy. I begged Kendall to not do this to me. She had no choice and said that she doesn't want to neglect time with Clara anymore.
The explanation she gave to me was that we were moving to fast and got too serious with me, which clouded her judgment. Time after time, I asked Kendall if she had any doubts about us to let me know and I would understand completely. She assurred me everytime that nothing was wrong and that she planned on marrying me.. She told me she loved me always and forever. On the 15th, it all changed in a blink of an eye. Now I'm left with this emptiness in my heart that was once filled with Kendall's love. She left me, but did she have too? I don't understand, I did nothing wrong. I was the perfect boyfriend that loved her unconditionally... I am totally confused by this... Please help...
 

[sevenofwands]

Hello Asianpride:

You will possibly have seen the other replies where you first posted.

Sorry to hear you are enduring such an unpleasant episode in your life.

Without beating about the bush, this girl evidently did not love you more than anything.  Yes, she does have a baby, and it is totally right that she should spend as much time as she can with the child. (I am somewhat surprised that a child of 18 months is not fully in custody of the mother, but then no doubt there are reasons for that). 
However, unless she intends to spend the rest of her life as a nun, (and it is not necessary to live like a nun in order to bring up a child), I would assume that you being the "perfect" boyfriend for her, she might have dealt with this matter differently, said, for example that you/she would have to wait, maybe spend less time together for the time being. AP, there are ALWAYS ways and means if the person is really serious and really loves you.   She mentioned "moving too fast" (that is always the phrase brought up by the party wishing to get out of a relationship, a real stock phrase if ever there was one).  If she wanted to, you could (and I am sure you would have met her wishes) have slowed down things, get engaged say in a year if you both felt the same.

No, AP, she didn"t have to leave you.  It is something she wanted to do. 

The advice in the other posts is good:  develop other interests, enjoy time with other people. You never know what the future brings.

All the best
Seven