new person-hurting alot

[Luvinmike]

I am so sorry Flamingo. The Rockies must be amazing!!!!! What a phenomenal tribute and with the dogs too. I am sorry you are missing your Larry. Just remember when you feel alone you are not. We care.
Terri

[Jap Jr]

feeling for you on your 1 yr date; hope you and your doggies had a good day at the park and letting some of Larry's ashes go ......

peace, comfort and some (((hugs)))

Kay

[sevenofwands]

Also wishing you peace of mind, and hopefully more easeful times ahead. 

All the best
Seven

[flamingofred]

Thank you all for your support.

Letting some of his ashes go at the doggie park was helpful, I felt like I was taking care of him,which I was so use to for the last year of his life.  It also made it more real, the year anniversary made it so real.  Prior to that I think that I was still in shock.

[flamingofred]

am in shock.  A few months ago a fibroid growth was found in my uterus and a surgery date was set, went today just to see where things are at and surgery moved up from Feb .10 to in the next couple of weeks and found out that chances are high that i may have cancer.

I am in absolute shock --- having a drink and a good cry

[cokieslittlegirl]

So sorry to hear this...you must be so frightened. But they don't know until they KNOW.  Hang in there, whatever it is, be confident in you.

Sending Thoughts your way.

[flamingofred]

I hae been doing alot of talking with God.  A part of me wouldn't mind joining him and Larry and then a part of me wants to stick around.
Am getting deja vu - came out of the blue with Larry and even though they predicted complete recovery we all know what happened.
I guess where I am at today is to pray, have my converstations with God, and his will will be his will.

[Luvinmike]

Dear (((Flamingo))))
I am thinking of you! I am sure we all are thinking of you. This is too much sometimes, these overwhelming moments. Keep fighting for the good moments, as best you can. My heart goes out to you as you keep finding energy. Keep writing here, I hope.
Terri

[flamingofred]

Thank you all for your support.

Did some more tests but only the operation will tell for sure.  except for the blood work which may be a false positive anyway.

Am still awaiting a surgery date. Health care in Alberta is disgusting - the richest province and the worst health care go figure.

[mousewife]

Flamingo,

This is an upsetting and frightening blow to deal with alone I know.  I have prayed for you today.  I pray for the best for you.

I understand a little bit of how you feel, because I have had some upsetting news myself this week.  Nothing life-threatening, but still very upsetting.  I was told that I have a drusen in my left eye, which is what causes macular degeneration, and also that the pressure in both my eyes is so high that I may have glaucoma.   I have no idea how I would manage to take care of myself alone if I did lose my sight.  I have follow-up appointments scheduled and I am praying and hoping that these will show something different.

I hope for a good report for you as well.

Peace and Healing,
mousewife

[flamingofred]

I don't have cancer.  Am emotionally exhausted.  thank you all for your prayers.  when i was thinking that i may have cancer and could die part of me felt that being with God and Larry wouln't of course be such a bad thing.

[mousewife]

Glad to hear you don't have cancer.  I know the thought of being with our loved ones and with God and Christ is something we desire.  But, personally, I hope I never have to die that way because I can't bear for the same monster that won against my husband to take me too, or any one else for that matter.  It claims too many lives as it is.

Peace and Healing--the journey is long,
mousewife

[Luvinmike]

 This is good to hear Flamingo, I agree with mouse. You don't need more pressures right now. At least not health issues. So sorry you are missing Larry every day.
Terri

[flamingofred]

thank you all for you support.  am feeling somewhat better re; no cancer but am missing L so much.

i am so tired of all of the crap that i have had to deal with ---- i wish i could just take a year off and do some healing maybe being off for 6 weeks re recovering from surgery is a good break.

part of me is also so tired of complaining.

need to do some praying.

[flamingofred]

surgery went well, am healing now.

Have decided to take my anitdepressants i think i need the extra bit of help.  have been struggling with caring about anything other than my doggies.

hopefully that and some praying will help.