1 Year

[kevinjj]

2/14/08, the day my wife died. It seems impossible in so many ways, it seems like 10 years one minute then again it will seem like 10 minutes since she died. I've never thought too much about this mark, this anniversary in my life but it is upon me. Right now, I have some serious health problems and the only good thing about that is it keeps my mind  off her death and I am not totally preoccupied with it. I've said it many times before, there is absolutely nothing that can happen and come my way that will be as horrific and devastating as her death - my health problems are about 1/4th the magnitude of the hell I have been through, and we have all been in the fire as they say and you know what I mean. So much has changed that I seem a stranger  to myself at times. It still seems so unreal at times, the old ache comes back, the old pain comes with its tearing, sharp edges to make the chasm bleed some more.  I will go tomorrow and spend time with 2 of her sisters whom I am very close to, have a meal with them and watch a ball game then spend some time with my step son and talk to my step daughter.  I will live with what I have and remember her for who she was and what she gave me, its a heavy burden the coming day and I am grateful to be able to share here and have a tiny bit of the weight carried by others who are on the same path....Kevin

[waterdragon]

Hi Kevin
I read your post and I am sending you thoughts of strength to get through this awful day. These anniveraries are always unknowns.. they loom, we try not to think about them until the day but we all know they are coming. You description of the hurt you feel was so accurate. Those ragged edges of the wound do get torn at, over and over again.
I am sure your wife is watching over you and hoping your pain is eased. The company of family is good but the ache is still inside.
Hopefully this hurdle will give you some mental peace for a while once you have passed it.
I lost my mum seven months ago. Her birthday, which was five months later, was the longest, saddest day I had had since her passing. If your day today is anything like that I hope you find peace, that's all we can ask for at this time, when the day is over and you have shed the tears you need to shed.
Strength and warm wishes.
waterdragon

[carrieset]

Kevin (also my wonderful brother's name):

I will be thinking of you and praying for you tomorrow.  I have read so many of your posts and you have given me alot of encouragement.  What an incredible relationship you must have had with your wife.  I too have some health issues but they were nothing near what Laurence endured over and over.  It was absolute hell to go through.

Praying,

Carrie

[georgiapeaches]

Kevin,
Like I told you before , you have been my rock on this site since the beginning, so I'm thinking of you today and praying you get through. Where has the time gone? We miss them so much, there are no other words. My heart goes out to you today. be well.

Georgia.

[laurenE]

((kevin)))

What a sad day to lose your lovely wife.   I agree that time is like 10minutes one minute then 10 yrs the next.   Ive felt that way too before.

I will be saying a prayer for you today as I know anniv dates can be so painful. Surround yourself with good friends and family to help you through today

lauren

[Luvinmike]

  :'(I put the roses like I said I would. Thinking of you!!!! And your Betty!!!! God Bless you and keep you wrapped in comfort throughout the day and night. When all else fails think about Georgia's birds, or Sara's (Grain's) jokes in Chat. We are here if you need us. I think I already said how much I do not like Valentine's Day. It is just plain mean. Terri

[Jap Jr]

kevin;

Thinking of you today and your anniversary date; it's only been 2 1/2 months for me and I can't cope with this day. I agree there is nothing else as painful as losing my Love, my friend, my future. It feels like yesterday everyday for me; can't we go back 4 months and have my "normal life" back?

You have great posts on this site, praying for you that you have strength to get through this day.

Comfort, peace, hugs to all

[jukeboxlady]

Thinking of you today Kevin....What meanful words you wrote.  Yes sometimes it seems like 10 years and then it seems like 10 minutes...I miss the valentine  card today that would of been waiting for me on the kitchen counter when I came downstairs and all the other cards these past 11 months....It didn't have to be expensive gifts, just a card from the heart....You have helped many people on this site with your words, now use us to lean on....(((((((Kevin))))))))