i dont like telling people my problems...

[Lifetank]

Hi guys im Anthony  25 years old ), i have so many problems ... i cant sleep i have sleeping paralysis and its very bad, i get it  any time of the day if i lie on the bed or relax on the coach, i have bipolar stage 1, and im not treated for it for 7 years now, , i got divorced , i have a child i cant se cuase xwife wants money at every visit, my car broke and i cant find the problem to fix it i already spent to much money on trying to find the problem, i had my own place i had to move back to my parents, and its def not going well under the same roof, ... its moving backwards.... but the bipolar is keeping me going.... my problem that i cant cope with is i cant find love , xwife left me a 1 year ago and it been 1 year since i had a hug or a i love you, in my marriage i had no girly friends cuase the wife didnt like it, i need a  girly friend , i cant live without being felt wanted needed, i myself have been told mby my male friends im there best friend but i pretend to smile im never happy, i dont feel love, mixed with bipolar and i cant sleep , i wish i can hold  someones hand just and feel that feeling of love, my words alone doesnt come close to what i feel. 2 years a go everything was perfect i had a good job, a drove a decent car, i had a house , 2 years later and i have nothing,

you dont have to reply , we are all on this forum for a reason,  can i just ask you guys to ask GOD (who is my daddy) can you guys just ask him why is he not talking to me, ask him to firgive me if i have done something wrong ask him to give me someone that will be interested in me

im really a friendly guy i got used to hiding my problems, im good at talking and taking and making people happy, i jsut cant make myself happy

( i dont want to ask GOD for something, cuase im still alive , and if i ask him for something i feel like im taking advantage, as long as my child is alive , i believe his doing anough for me, but i need more im not sure how to ask him ) so pls you guys ask him