I recommend this book

[nancy/Patricks mom]

I have been reading this book  Beautiful Boy by David Sheff  it is a fathers journey through his sons addiction  it is the best book i have read if anyone has gone through an addiction problem with a family
member it is worth reading  as one person said different drug ,different city ,different rehab, same story he also has a web site   www.davidsheff.com. I would like to hear some feed back   if it helped anyone else i lost my 20 year old son dec.2007 to a drug problem ~thanks

[Paula Bruckner]

I read this book, amongst many others, as I too lost my son to an overdose. Nothing has helped me come to terms with it. I just have to wrap my mind around the fact that it is a reality. Adam had an addiction and died as a result. I cry rivers of tears apologizing to Adam for not being the Mother he needed assuming most of the blame for his need to compensate with drugs. My greatest fear was that he would die from an overdose and they were realized on 09/06/06. I beg, plead, scream, bargain for the universe to trade places and I even went so far to nudge it along with a suicide attempt and the irony of it all is that I am still here and he is not.

[nancy/Patricks mom]

paula  i am so sorry i know your pain i wonder if i had been a different parent i knew he had a problem but we went to rehab also  betty ford  's interventionist nothing helped as he told me we could lock him up for 20 years but if he wanted to do drugs he would do them in 20 years  patrick did not die of an overdose he had been ordering xanxa over the internet from argentina and he ran out it was christmas ands the mail was slow he had a withdrawl sezior  i say he had a drug underdose he was on methodone program to  he was addicted to oxy cotin the way he was going it was bound to happen sooner or later i told him one day we drove past the cementary that if he didnt change that would be his new home and less than a year later it was we looked for help when he was younger 14 or 15 when this started and there was nothing for a young boy now they told me if he were unmarried and pregnant they could take him  we ieven put him in the system on chins but he fell through the cracks he was supposed to call in once a week and write a paper he hasnt wrote the paper yet and when he called the man just said ok so he quit calling that was years ago snd they havent called us yet i probally should have followed up on that but there agian i didnot he was on task drug testing and some how passed all those when he shouldnt have some of the people they hire just dont care i know there are some good ones but in all our looking for help we just didnt find any and those 50 thousand dollar wilderness programs dont work either  its an ilness and we need to find a way to cure it

[Paula Bruckner]

Nancy, I thought that I did it all and in the end I fell short. Was there anything else I could have done? Probably but as I learned in therapy I did the best that I could with the tools that I had at the time. I HATE the outcome, I HATE that my son is dead, I HATE what this has done to my family.

[nancy/Patricks mom]

paula i know just how you feel  i was not prepared for this and did the best i knew how to but i also hate the outcome it has left me empty and also hurt my family not to mention all that patrick missed out on who knows what he could have done he will never grow old he will never have children it is such a waste and a shame and i miss him so much  i just get through one day at a time good luck with you and your healing