Dark Emotions

[sevenofwands]

http://suicide.suite101.com/article.cfm/coping_with_suicide

Extract:

"Coping Strategies
Join a support group and you can share your story in a non-judgmental environment. You will likely make contact with other suicide survivors and they will understand exactly what you're going through.
The raw emotions you will feel after a suicide can overwhelm you physically and mentally. If these feelings continue unresolved for a long time you'll end up harming yourself, so it's important to find some professional therapy. You must talk about what you're feeling.
Don't let anybody rush you through the grieving process. Take as much time as you need. Ask for an extended leave of absence from work if you feel it's necessary.
Take care of yourself, and get plenty of rest.
Get your anger out! You may not want to admit it, but it's there and it must be recognized. Scream, shout, cry or pound your fists against a pillow. Any of these will be helpful as long as your emotions do not stay locked up.
Things You Shouldn't Do
Never place the blame on yourself or on the deceased. It's nobody's fault.
Avoid prescription medications and alcohol to cope with grief. They will only serve to lift your mood artificially and will not treat the real cause, which is the loss itself.
Do not let anyone else tell you how to feel, or to convince you that it's time to snap out of it and move on with your life. Remarks of this nature are presumptuous and inappropriate.

[sevenofwands]

This is a place you do not want to go. 

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/05/10/magazine/10Depression-t.html?_r=1&scp=2&sq=daphne%20merkin&st=cse

[sevenofwands]

I thought this was interesting and thought-provoking.

http://blogs.psychologytoday.com/blog/don039t-delay/200807/living-well-dying-well-some-reflections-regret-grief-and-procrastination

"""In the course of his discussion of coping with death and counseling individuals who are grieving, Dr. Eliason noted two kinds of regrets that people express in their grief over the loss of a loved one: regrets of commission and omission. The second regret, the things we omitted doing while our loved one was alive, captured my interest. Regrets of omission are so often the result of procrastination.

I asked Dr. Eliason, "What is the nature of these regrets of omission?" adding, "Are these: 1) Things people really intended to do, but never did (i.e., procrastination)?; 2) Generalized possibilities of what they could have done?; 3) Cultural scripts of what they think they should have done, what would have been nice to do?; or 4) Internalized expectations about what the loved one might have wanted them to do?""""

[sevenofwands]

Very interesting article on "guilt tripping".

http://www.isnare.com/?aid=100465&ca=Womens+Interest

[sevenofwands]

""While mild regret is useful for driving new action, he said, severe regret “can be the first step toward mental illness.” Research has shown that most people eventually return to pre-tragedy levels of satisfaction, but some people suffer long-term emotional distress and depression. “Unfortunately, the newest research linking counterfactual thinking to depression contain little insight into how best to treat depression,” Roese wrote.""

http://news.illinois.edu/news/05/0124regrets.html

[sevenofwands]

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/174212.php

""This is no small problem: Estimates suggest that, at any given point, 1 out of every 
36 children and 1 out of 18 adolescents experiences major depression.

By age 18, 1 in 7 has experienced at least one episode of major depression. Many others have less-severe problems. And children of depressed mothers have a risk three to four times higher than the general population. ""


And:

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/173904.php

[sevenofwands]

This is, I think, worthwhile looking at:

http://www.counsellingconnection.com/index.php/2010/01/12/the-psychology-of-

""The difficulties associated with unresolved grief have also been attributed to a previous insecure attachment to the deceased. Insecure attachments of any kind can encourage distorted perspectives on the meaning of the relationship thereby complicating grief as the mourner grieves from a distorted perspective of the deceased and the meaning they have given to the relationship.

Due to the insecure attachment, the mourner may be afraid to grieve in order to avoid the distorted perceptions of what has been lost and the accompanying feelings of intense helplessness, fear of loneliness and other related overwhelming feelings that can often surround the loss of an insecure attachment figure.

One overwhelming feeling often experienced with such cases is a deep sense of abandonment within those who have lost their insecure attachment figure. It is such feelings of abandonment that could have some individuals reluctant to grieve because the grieving reawakens the painful and very profound sense of being left all alone to fend for them selves in the world.

People with severe ego impairments (e.g. personality disorders) are often unable to adequately complete the grief process. Such people may have difficulty successfully engaging normal grief processes and instead experience feelings of intense hopelessness, frustration, anxiety and depression resulting in complicated grief (Williamson & Shneidman, 1995; Freeman, 2005).""