I need some input

[llpp]

its been 3 months since my mom died. she had a hard battle in the hospital for 2 1/2 months. I find myself constantly wondering if the night she went downhill if she was awake, hurting..etc.. wondering exactly what happended before they heavily sedated her for her stomach pain. its a long story, but her organs started shutting down and she developed ischemic bowel. when we got there the next morning. she was already comatose and very heavily sedated. My therapist said its not unusual for people to later call the dr for answers to any questions that they may constantly be dwelling on. But on the other hand, I don't want to hear something horrible like she was in severe pain, awake, you know what I mean. I hope that when she was sleeping she just went downhill and they sedated her and she felt nothing. Do yall think its a bad idea for me to talk to her dr to find out? I am afraid if I hear something bad, then that will just haunt me also. Or would I be better off not knowing?

[Irene]

Hi,
   I think that we can only give you opinions as to whether speaking with the doctor would be helpful to you or not. It's still very recent that your mother passed away, so I think that going over the details of her final days is very common. Do you know your mom's doctor well, and is he a compassionate man who you think would be able to give you helpful answers? Your mom is in peace now, and no longer in pain. I can only say that if you continue to dwell on this, then it would likely be a good idea to talk to the doctor.
   When my mom passed away, I spent a very long time, thinking "what if's." She went into the hospital for testing, and three days later passed away. Her doctor had diagnosed her with lactose intolerance, but it was actually gangrene in her bowels, due to constricted blood flow(which I think ischemic bowels is). We didn't know about the inaccurate diagnosis, until the day that she died.
  As time went on, I realized I couldn't change the occurrence of events. I can only imagine that the doctors did what they could for your mother but if the questions you have, cause you a lot of worry, then please call the doctor.
   

[georgiapeaches]

I called my husbands doctor right away because it drove me crazy, I had to know. If it bothers you that much, maybe you should call. I was so tired from the move I had to ask the doctor if my husband choked or said my name or anything to try to wake me up, thankfully the doctor said it was instantanious.
hope this helps.

georgia.

[annr]

I JUST READ YOUR POST AND I CANT BELIEVE IT. MY MOM PASSED AWAY FROM SEPSIS AND ISCHEMIC BOWEL ALSO. ITS BEEN 10 MONTHS FOR ME, BUT IN YOUR POST I HEARD MYSELF IN YOUR QUESTIONS ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED, WHAT WAS SHE FEELING, AND ABOUT TALKING TO THE DOCTOR OR NOT. MY MOM'S PRIMARY DR. WAS SOMEONE I COULD TALK TO BUT I STILL HAVE NOT GOT THE ANSWERS I NEEDED. I QUESTION IT ALL BECAUSE SHE WAS ONLY 62 AND BASICALLY HEALTHY AND THEN ONE DAY SHE STARTED HAVING PAIN, THREE DAYS LATER SHE WAS GONE. I WANTED TO KNOW EVERYTHING AND ANSWERS TO WHAT PHYSICALLY HAPPENED. MY MOM WENT TO THE HOSP BY AMBULANCE AND BY THE TIME WE GOT THERE SHE WAS SO HEAVILY MEDICATED. I NEVER HAD ANOTHER COHERENT CONVERSATION WITH HER, AND THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE TIME,EVEN THOUGH I KNEW SHE WAS REALLY SICK, I NEVER, FOR ONE MINUTE EVER THOUGHT WE WERE FACING LIFE OR DEATH. WE WERE TOLD SHE HAD SEVERE ACCUTE PANCREATITIS AND HER KIDNEYS WERE SHUTTING DOWN, THEN ALL THE OTHER ORGANS STARTED FAILING AND THEN THEY SAID SOMETHING WAS WRONG IN THE BOWEL AND THEY HAD TO GO IN AND OPERATE YET THEY FELT SHE COULDNT SURVIVE THE SURGERY. WHEN THE SURGEON CAME OUT AND SAID HER WHOLE INTESTINE WAS BASICALLY DEAD AND THERE WAS NOTHING THAT COULD BE DONE, IT WAS TOTALLY UNREAL THAT THIS WAS REALLY HAPPENING. MOM NEVER WOKE UP AFTER SURGERY, BUT I STILL HAVE QUESTIONS AS TO WHY DID HER INTESTINES DIE, WHAT CAUSED THE PANCREATITIS, WAS THE ISCHEMIC BOWEL DUE TO THIS, IF I HAD TAKEN HER FRI WHEN SHE WAS HURTING, COULD IT HAVE NOT GOTTEN TO THIS POINT, THE QUESTIONS GO ON AND ON.

[asayvonne]

Hi - I'm new here, and just read your post.  I think you should talk to the doctor; but not until you're a little stronger for it.  Bare in mind, the information you want it not pleasant in nature.  You have every right to know what happened, and how, just be sure you are up for it.  Give yourself a bit of a break first, then go.

My very best wishes,
Asa

[llpp]

I still don't know what to do.  I am reading a book called "on life after death" by Elisaeth Kubler-Ross. I am not much of a reader but I am trying to find something to help me. its an interesting book. Makes you really wonder what happens at the time of death and after.

[charlesafather]

llpp;
 I can understan the ned to know and i am so sorry you are in need of this site. please look at my web page, do not misunderstand i am not trying to promote my site, just look at the page of my experances of life beyond, i may be just a crazy ol man but i assure you these experances i had are true.


                           http://www.freewebs.com/afathersson/

                    i pray this may help,            charles