SOS - IMMEDIATE NEED

[Dena]

If you have an immediate need/emergency - please post it here!

[adele]

I thought that I could get through this season for a change without melting down. It will be seven years in January since I last held my baby Thomas.

We have gone through so much...losing Thomas, then losing my Mom two months before, and then going through bankruptcy. I think part of it is we are invited back to our old neighborhood to visit an old family friend and she wants to go carolling through the neighborhood. I'm not sure that I can do that and I'm missing my babyThomas and my Mom.

I have invited my 92 yearr old Dad to the house we are living in now for Christmas

So funny I was listening to the news this morning and they were talking about missing family and what to do for the sadness. Part of my answer may be not going back to our old neighborhood and remembering the life we use to.
Adele-Mom to Thomas(Forever Four 1-05-06-1/26/00)

[CRCmom]

Adele,

I am so sorry that you are going through the raw emotions like you are.  Going through the old neighborhood may not be such a good idea.  You certainly know what is best for you at this time.  I would only do what is beneficial to you and your well-being.  Having you 92 year old dad with you must be difficult in and of itself. 

I wish I could make the pain of missing our kids magically dissappear, but it just can't be. 

Know that you will be in my prayers throughout this holiday season.

Much love,

[Dottie (Tammie's Mom)]

Dear Adele,

Sure wish I had a magical word that could help take some of the pain away. I too have been melting down the past couple days, I have even been physically sick. It is just too much for our minds and bodies to handle sometimes. Too, too painful.

Please know I am thinking of you and sending any strength I can your way,

Dottie Tammie's Mom

[faye]

I am holding you close to my heart Adele.  I have been having some awful meltdowns too.  Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

[adele]

I was able to get through last night okay. Yesterday it was pouring rain(we got 4 inches of rain ) yesterday and that did not help my mood.
 
Thank you for your responses.

Adele

[Dena]

((((Adele)))) - The holidays are SO hard for us.  It is even worse when we compare other peoples "normal" to what has become our own.

I am thinking of you and if you need to talk - we are here.  Wishing it were different.

Love,
Dena, Josh's Mom

[quint906]

Hi Adele,

I can really relate to you.  Last December 19th, my son Cory died.  Doing all I can to make it through this Christmas.

Here's a little history of my last year.

Last November, my mother fell and broke her hip.  Dec. Cory left me.  Went back home to Florida to make arrangements.  New Years eve, my brother ended up in the hospital for a week with an amputation.  (This was the day after we got home from moving Cory's apartment).  In April, my mother almost died from a bowel obstruction and going into septic shock.  My daughter who lives in Slidell, La. and her children developed asthma from the mold in their rented house from Hurricaine Katrina.  In October, moved my mother-in-law up from our home in Florida, put the home on the market and now she's living here with us at my mothers.  Mom needs care as she is now in a wheelchair.  Like I said, I'm really forcing myself through this holiday without my son.  At 2:00 this morning I heard a sharp knock on the bedroom door.  Opened it, and there was my mother on the floor.  She fell again and now has tremendous pain in her leg.  Keeping her in bed with ice and elevation.  Hoping it's not broken.  This is the same side as the broken hip but it doesn't seem to be hurting in the hip area.

I was just sitting here thinking "why".  It's seems every holiday that comes, there's some trauma happening.  Everytime things seem to get a little bit better, there's another setback.  Even foolish thoughts like "what have I done to be punished like this" go through my mind.  This life is getting so hard.  I'm the one everyone relies on but how much more can I give?  Getting through Dec. 19th and the holidays was more than I can handle.

Like you, I miss holding and talking to my son.  Cory was 30 years old with a wife and two beautiful kids.  He was my heart.  Now I feel like I just exist.

Sorry for the ramble, just needed to get this out.

[Rebecca]

Adele: You are not rambling, just speaking your heart.  I don't know why some families have more than their share of heartache and sorrow.  I read an article in today's newspaper that the writer said:  No one should ask why... well, I want to know why too.  But I know there are no answers only more heartache... I hope that you get to see Thomas' wife and children for Christmas.  Jason was 31 when he died but without a wife, SO, or children so we will not have that from him.  Right now, I would be happy to have him but I know that is not an option.  Times are just so sad.  I guess I didn't help you too much.  I am sorry for that.
Rebecca Jason's Mom

[Jeanneb]

Adele,

I am so sorry that the pain is so raw and intense right now.  I wish I had the magic wand to make it go away.  Not sure going to the old neighborhood would be a good thing right now but only you know what is best.  Taking care of your elderly father is certainly a full-time job.  My grandmother passed away this past July at age 99.  It was like taking care of a baby, you had to watch her 24/7.  It really took its toll on my mom.

Please try and take care of you along the way.

Love and hugs,
Jeanne

[Chy Scott's Mom]

The weight of the world  on shoulders get tired, weary and bent over.  Dec. 19th would have been Scott's 21st birthday, for months after he was killed I was hoping that some little girl would call and say she was pregnant.  But that didn't happen, I guess I taught him right, you know?  The might sound odd but I wonder if any of you have had these passing thoughts, most of the time I am so busy with either work, or my son (he demands a lot of effort) or now the holidays and juggling my grandson and work with my DIL that I actually get angry because I can't get the space and time to grieve and wallow.  This really makes me mad, I've spent almost 4 years just fetchin' and gettin' it seems with no down time to grieve.

[starynyte]

((((((((((((((((((((((((((Adele)))))))))))))))))))))))))) wishing you peace and comfort.


((((((((((((((((((((((((((Chy))))))))))))))))))))))))))) From my experience, when I have done this, it seems to make my grief much more intense. Holding it in, denying it, is very bad. It will find a way to come to the surface, and I wasn't able to control when. Totaly breaking down in public is humiliating for me...

Please try to set limits on extending yourself to others, take care of you. People that love you may think if you are busy, it helps keep your mind off of your grief. To some degree it does help, but not when you have no time to yourself.

Wishing you peace, and and empowerment to say "no"

Love Cherri

[marie]

This is the first year without Patrick. I just hope I could get through it Cristmas day at the nursing home without having a melt down. I just loose it at times like I am having a nervous break down. It breaks my heart and I start crying when I see Patrick's dog BISCUIT peeking through the gate just waiting for Patrick to come home and sometimes he barks at nothing.LOVE AND HUGS MARIE

[adele]

Dear Marie,

The holidays are the worst times especially the first year. Take one breath one minute and breathe again and one step at a time. Remember be kind to yourself. Sending cyber hugs.

Adele-  Mom To Thomas (Forever Four)

[Chrs]

This pain is so overwellming and having fools (my fam) for support does not help anything. My mom thinks I should just get over losing Sara and my sis thinks Sara and I are going to hell! I just dont know what to do with my days anymore kinda lost! Im in winter break from college and dont have the stress of that. But seem to lose track of my days wallowing in my pain not knowing what to do with myself.