SOS - IMMEDIATE NEED

[Kathy]

Please Brenda, please don't do this! Taylor wouldn't want you to do this. Your family needs you more than they can every say. I understand your pain ,but please get some help.

Love,
Kathy-Don's Mom

[Brenda(Jessica's Mom)]

Feeling really low today... wishing I had bought a gun. NO I have kids here today I have to tend to. but GOD I wish I was free to go home.

[Penny - Sean's Mom]

I don't have wise words but I wanted to let you know that I am here.   A gun isn't the answer to our pain.  It sounds like an easy out but we of all people know there is no such thing as an easy out.  We are here for some reason that I don't completely understand but we are here.  Hang in there.  Call someone - even if it's a complete stranger.  It's not your time to go home yet.   

Penny - Sean's Mom

[Brenda(Jessica's Mom)]

Thanks Penny, I KNOW a gun isnt the answer, and that pisses me off. How easy it would be.... but alas, no easy shit for me. Life sucks.  Why the hell ISNT my time to go?

[Penny - Sean's Mom]

The "why" is a question I ask myself all the time.  If you figure out the answer before me be sure to let me know!  I have so little faith in so many things but I do know that there must be some reason I'm still here.  I keep saying that there must have been a easier way to learn whatever lesson it is I'm supposed to be learning from this journey but here I am.  Our kids don't want us to find them the hard way, so here we are.  Hanging in.  Doing the best we know how.

Wishing you peace tonight...

Penny - Sean's Mom

[quint906]

Hi Brenda,

Just finished reading your posts.  I've been where you are today.  The hardest thing for me is acknowledging that Cory is gone.  I've been in such a denial still hoping this is a dream.  I have to tell myself everyday that Cory "is" still here, I just can't see him.  Sometimes I ache so bad because I just want to feel a hug, hear his voice or smell him.  I don't know how many times I've asked "Why?".

There is a reason that we're still here and have to be here.  For some, like me, I'm still searching for the answer.  Maybe my purpose is to keep Daddy alive for his children and to be able to teach them and tell them the stories about their father.  Maybe your purpose is to keep Jessica alive to her family and friends.  There are things that a mother knows about their children that only they can convey.

There are days that we wake up and the void in our hearts is unbearable.  Those are the days that we think "maybe tomorrow will be better".

I seem to be rambling but I just want you to know that when you hurt, we all hurt with you.  We're here for you.  Just keep coming back until you make it through this painful time.  Our lives are now the words "moving forward" and doing it the best that we can.

My thoughts are with you and Jessica.

Jo (Cory's Mom)

[Jeanneb]

(((((BRENDA)))))

You hold on tight.  I know the dark place is just so overwhelming sometimes.  I've been there in that pit thinking I would never get out.  Took a handful of pills, hubby found me and they pumped my stomach and I promised him I wouldn't leave him here alone.  It hurts and it hurts really bad but for whatever reason we are left here. 

Jessica was your sweet angel.  I don't know why she was taken...I don't know why Philip was taken...but we are left here to carry on the best way we can.  Just as hubby found me, it wasn't for me to leave but to stay...I can say this was way early in my journey...the pain I thought was just too much.  I still say "I WANT HIM BACK".  In so many ways we buried a part of us along with our child.  Trying to find our way, searching endlessly to make it through but you can.  It isn't easy but know that I walk right beside you.  Somedays I think I have this figured out and why I'm still here...just as fast as that thought comes...the next day I just don't know what my purpose is...I just keep taking those deep breaths and baby steps.

Holding you oh so very close to my heart,
Jeanne
Philip's mom

[sandy2]

BRENDA, i read jessica memorial site before writing ,WHAT A BEAUTIFUL YOUG DAUGHTER YOU HAVE SO MUCH TO BE PROUD OF!!!!!!!!!  god i feel your pain wish i could comfort you in some way . im 4 mo into this journey  & im just not realy sure what too say . just wanted to let you know I AM SO THINKING OF YOU & YOUR BEATIFUL JESSICA !!!! PLEASE TRY AS HARD AS POSSIBLE TO TRY & STAY CONNECTED HERE , I KNOW ITS BEEN MY LIFE LINE . SENDING HUGH HUGS & LOTS OF LOV , SANDY SHANES MOM

[wubbie]

its been a month since i lost my son  i cant take the pain

[Brenda Taylors Mom]

We are all here for you... it is the number one thing that has helped me through the last 3 1/2 years w/o my only son Taylor... please if you can only type one sentence, one word,,,, just know you are never alone... Love, Brenda

[mamaAnn]

our son died 3 weeks ago.SOMEBODY PLEASE TALK TO ME!

[WendyRN]

MamaAnn:

So sorry to hear of another on this long and lonely journey.  Three weeks is such a short time to even imagine it being true.  If you've posted other information about your son, I haven't had a chance to catch up with it yet.  When you feel like it and if you want to, please share more about your precious son. 

My son died in an atv accident last August and I am still having trouble believing he's really gone.  Its just so impossible to TRY to believe.  I WANT HIM BACK!

I wish you strength to help you cope over these most fragile days and weeks. 

Wendy, Keith's mom

[Brenda Taylors Mom]

I just read your post and I am so deeply sorry about your precious son... we are here for you. My 14 year old only son Taylor was hit by a car 3 1/2 years ago.. it's a dark journey, but we are all here for you as much as we can be... Brenda

[mwf]

My son hung himself this morning.  I can't sleep or eat

[grainofsand]

mwf
We are here for you....
You are not alone...
Prayers are being sent out to heaven...
My arms are reaching out to you ...grab hold ..