PTSD is running my life...

[spilledblue]

I'm new to these boards..hopeing to find some annimity and comfert among people who are in pain as well.

Well, in short my husband at the age of 21 was diagnosed with PTSD. We have been married since 19 and have 2 wonderful children together. At 24 years old I find that his illness is effecting me. I feel so depressed at time, its unreal. I no longer have friends of my own...because I'm so consumed with this. I find it hard to spend time alone...not only because I have small children but because he is by me every waking moment if I'm not working.

He is currently on disablity and is recieving compensation for this, but I'm having to work. I miss my daughters and he has to watch them while I'm away. I'm scared for them. I'm not saying he would hurt them cause I know he loves them and would do anything for them, But I've seen his bad days...and they are bad.  I've had to take off of work so often from my last job that I lost it due to attendance. It was a good job...it made me sad. I wasn't out of work long and I was able to get a better job after, but that isn't the point. 

I just don't know what to do about this. I don't have enough time to seek perfessional help. I just feel a lot of pressure to keep it together for my family. I feel like I have to do it all. I just want this weight off of me...I just don't know what to do. 

[grainofsand]

Spilledblue~
If you are scared for your children...even a little bit, you can not have just your husband watch over your children.  I am sure that your husband loves them and wouldn't want to hurt them, but if he is "ill", then children are not in a safe environment.  I am not judging here, but just from you stating that you know what he is capable of, you must protect them from having to experience a bad day with their father alone.

Sure you feel all the pressure to work to be the provider, and then the mother, and then the house and caregiver, and then to be wife on top of it all.  That amount of stress...anyone would collapse under it. 

I pray that your husband can get the help that he needs and remains under a doctors care.  You guys might need to seek professional help for awhile.  But first and foremost....keep your children safe.  You need someone to assist in watching those children.

[lostwithouthim]

I have PTSD and it is no joy. I sympathize for your husband, I really do. However, if you do not feel your children are safe with him . Then it your job as their mother to find someone else to care for them. This will ease your burden as well as his. You will feel much better once that stress and pressure is of you. It may even help him more then either of you realize. He will have time to pursue a hobby AND  keep those ghost that sometimes haunt our minds at bay.

There has to be someone you trust that will watch your children while you work. I am guessing your kids are very small. Small children tend to be a handful and if he has PTSD .......... Well its a very ugly thing to have.

If you don't mind my asking what is the source of your spouse's PTSD ?

[Jeanneb]

I normally post on the child loss board and just came across your post.  I was diagnosed with PTSD after my son died 5 years ago.  There is a method called EMDR that some therapist use to help with PTSD...I know for me it worked.  It also has been used by many in helping veterans who have returned from war.  I had also been on ativan for the panic/anxiety and between the ativan and the EMDR I have not had a panic attack in over a year.

There is a website www.emdr.com that you might want to visit and check out.

Wishing you all the best,
Jeanne
Philip's mom forever

[kevinjj]

I hope your husband is in therapy for the PTSD and medications can help while he is in therapy and developing coping and adjustment skills. That fact that you have had to come home for the sake of your children and lost a job over it and say that you are scared shows that you have to take some steps here, some course of action beyond sharing it on a message board. There are social service agencies that can be of help to you and the whole family.

[arkansas_sra19]

Hello All!  I am new to this.  I have been dating my exceptional boyfriend for 7 months.  We live together in a beautiful in the country with my 1 1/2 year old daughter.  I'm 20 and he is 24.

He's a disabled vetern and has PTSD; until now it has not effected us. 

Lately, he has been showing signs, which I have never seen from him.  My problem is that he constantly yells at me that I don't understand (which I completely know I don't) but I am trying.  I have been reading all these topics about how to speak, when to know it's PTSD that is the cause of an argument.  It's really burning me out.  It seems no matter what I do its not right or not enough...  Any suggestions out there?  I am feeling hopeless.