Mbminton: Isn't it amazing how much the physical is tied to the mental and spiritual? That's interesting about the kidney stone being the cause of the blood in the urine. I am having tests for that in January-an IVP/CT Scan and a cystoscope
Honestly, I don't think it ever got cleared up in the first place. My mom and a close friend both almost died from Clostridium Difficile (too many antibiotics destroying the delicate balance in the body) and if I take antibiotics again this will be my 4th round! They are having the lab test to see what the bacteria is sensitive to, but it just doesn't seem to kill it. So now I am stuck through the holidays not feeling well still. I am under a doctor's care and a good therapist. Life is just so exhausting at this point that I can barely keep my head above water! I have never been this tired in my life. My mom can be quite overbearing at times and I have a strong-willed teenage daughter. Emotionally, I am drained, and have been, all through my dad's surgery, illness and death. And of course caring for my mom, who lost her love and caregiver. Being a survivor is hard work!
I am trying to decide at this point what I feel capable of as far as family entertaining goes. I have decided to combine our Christmas party, presents and dinner all on Christmas day. We used to have 2 separate get togethers, but I just cannot do it this year or probably ever again. I feel that all the expectations fall on me, and at some point I have to say no to what I simply cannot do. My mom tends to be more demanding than anyone else about what she expects, and has very little grace when I cannot find the strength to do one more thing. But it has always been this way. I am learning to stand up to her some. Here I am 54...guess I'm a slow learner in that department. I have always felt like the parent even as a child, and never really had much choice but to try and please her. But it cannot always be done. I am tired.
Well I have everything done..except for housecleaning. A little at a time is all I can do, so that's what I do. I hope everyone is at least enjoying something about this Christmas, even if it is only memories of Christmas past. Yesterday was my best day. I love to make Christmas baskets and I love Victorian things. So I fixed up some Snowman Soup baskets and some beautiful tea baskets in hat boxes, and delivered them. It was so much fun! One lady cried at the Blessing Exchange where I have a flea market booth. And so I try and remember it's about Jesus and celebrating his birth and great love for us. I will be thinking of all of you my dear friends! Love, Lonnie
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