Hi everyone - though I have posted on these boards for a few years now - I thought I would introduce myself in this new spot. My name is Karen, I am 43 yrs old and live in upstate NY. I have experienced various types of loss over my lifetime so far including the passing of my greatgrandmother (who lived to a ripe age of 99), all of my grandparents, 2 uncles and 1 aunt. When I was about 18 I had a friend who was killed by a drunk driver on her 20th birthday, she lived in another state and we had not seen each other for quite a few years but that impacted me deeply.
I have been married to my hubby Keith for 18 yrs (in May). I spent most of my 30s trying to have a chlld - went through about 7 yrs of infertility treatments - finally I decided I needed to let my pursuit of a biological child go, accept that I would not be a mom in that way and find some happiness in my life again. it took me another 2 yrs of serious grieving for the child Keith and I could not have together before I was able to see light again and enjoy all the children around me (nieces, nephews and friends kids). At that point I "resolved" my grief and decided not to pursue adoption but to live a full life with my husband, my family and friends.
Just about the time I began to feel good about myself - tragedy struck our family. My brother's only child Christopher was struck by a hit and run driver while riding his bicycle home in the evening on Veteran's Day 2003. His mom Amy had a bad feeling while making dinner and rushed out of the house to find Chris on the side of the road just 1/10 mile from home. Chris suffered severe brainstem injuries and Brian and Amy had to make the most difficult decision of their lives to take their only child off life support - he died the following morning.
Chris was just three weeks shy of his 17th birthday, a junior in high school with his first serious girlfriend and was looking forward to getting his driver's license in the spring. Chris had amibitions to become an 8th grade history teacher and he would have been amazing i'm sure - so good with kids and older people alike - he had a charm and charisma that was hard to resist - along with a most excellent sense of humor..
Now my family is empty - Chris was "our' only child - my parents only grandchild -there is no future for us only memories of the past.. I have nieces and nephews on my husband's side of the family who I love very much as well - but Chris is my brother's child and he was my first nephew and holds a special place in my heart...
So I found this place about a year and a half after Chris passed and everyone here has been so kind and supportive and having a place to share chris on special dates or any old time is so precious to me.. I hope I have given back even a little of what you all have given me..
luv and hugs, Karen
proud aunt of Christopher
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