I feel like I am going crazy

[Khristi]

I really feel like I am stuck in a movie off of the LifeTime channel...On October 23rd, 2009 , my older sister passed away.   

[Terry]

Khristi,

I'm sorry to hear of your sister. I totally understand feeling like we're in someone else's nightmare, because it truly cannot be happening to us.

Welcome to webhealing where there are a lot of loving and caring people who understand the pain from losing someone they love so deeply.

Please take very good care of 'you' and come back and share more about your precious sister when you are up to it. There is always someone here to listen.

Love & hugs,
Terry

[Khristi]

As I said my sister passed away October 23, 2009. We found out on Sep. 22nd, 2009 (which was her 29th birthday) that she had cancer. When they found it there were 9 tumors on her brain. The doctors told us that the cancer had formed in late July 2009. She went through around of radiation, before they realized it had spread all over her body. So 1 month and 1 day after we found out, my wonderful sister went to be with the good Lord. I have so many different feelings I cant seem to deal with them. I am happy that she is not in anymore pain, I am sad because I have lost my best friend (she was only 13mths older then myself), I am mad because she was taken away from her baby girl (who was then 7mths old), I am glad that I got to be there for her, I am very very angry that anyone would have to see a loved one hurt so bad. After all those emotions and then some, I realize that no matter what I do the last 4mths of her life keep playing over and over in my head. There had to be something that I could have done more for her, something better. Right this very minute I feel as if my head is going to explode, and there is not a thing I can do to stop it.

[Gail08]

Khristi,
I can not tell you how sorry I am about the loss of your sister.  I too lost my older sister.  Tomorrow will be 17 months and to tell you the truth my head still spins at times and feels as if it will explode.  Just take some deep breaths and be easy on yourself.   Take things one step at a time.  It will take time but with support from people here at Webhealing things will be a lot easier.  Just remember that you are not alone.  Come to this site and talk, talk, talk.  We all here understand.  That is one of the things that has helped me the  most.

Gail