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[idunno]

I am currently 19 years old.  I lost my sister 4 years ago.  She was going to look for a house to live in and she was killed in a car accident.  We were 7 years apart and she was older than me.  After losing her, my mom went off the deep end, she forget to how to be mom.  So two years after she died, I went to live with my youth pastors family, where I lived for two years, and then a couple months ago I moved in with a family that I was nanning for, then a bunch of bad things happend with their famil, then a month ago I moved in with another family, and it was going ok untill last light, when she told me that she wasnt ready to be a counselor 24/7 and that I needed to call my youth pastor nad see if I could live with them again.  So I moved last night in with them again, and hope I don't have to move for a while now.  I feel stupid, cuz my grief is harder now then it was when my sister first died, it feels newer and I am like just starting to go thorugh it, but I read so many peoples post that just lost their loved one a couple days ago or a year ago, or I tlakt o friends that just lost people and I feel like I should be better, and be able to help people more than needing help myself.  Thanks for listening and I hope to get to know some of you!

[laurenE]

Idunno,

Thank you for introducing yourself.  You are so young to be dealing with all of the major changes in your life.  I am so sorry.  I hope that you  continue to find comfort at your youth pastors house.   I too had wonderful youth counselors when I was in high school,  who helped me when my dad died and my mom went off the deep end.   

Something else you may want to try is going to a grief support group.  I think sometimes when we dont have family support,  grief becomes complicated and lasts longer.   Its not too late to get help .   
I hope this sight becomes a support system for you.  Continue to post on the sibling board so that others there can see your story and be there for you.

Lauren

[idunno]

Lauren,
Thank you for being there, and for the advice, I really appreciate it.

[Karen Paul]

idunno

I'm so sorry - you have had many kinds of loss in your young life - there is no timeline for grief - and sometimes when we are dealing with other issues our grief gets pushed to the side for a while - it sounds like you've been so busy trying to survive you haven't allowed yourself to really grieve, not just for your sister - but also for the loss of the life you had with your mom before she died - so many things have changed for you - it is overwhelming -

I agree with Lauren that perhaps finding a support group in your area might be good. Or a good counselor maybe - and talking to other people who have lost a sibling would be good too - grief is lonely most of the time because only you are experiencing your own grief and yours is different from your mom's or anyone else's.. but sharing with others in similar situations seems to help - at least to not feel so alone on the journey..

Big hugs to you,
Karen
proud aunt of Christopher
killed at 16 by hit and run driver

[idunno]

Karen,
Thank you for your kind words and advice.  I's so glad I found this website and I hope to be able to talk to you more over time!  I'm sorry about your nephew, I too am an aunt, my nephew was born October 17,2007 so he's just a little baby but he is so special to me.  Thanks again for heloing me through this journey.

Love ya