Welcome

[sweetpea]

Lauren,

 I have already posted on the intro board why I came to webhealing, I have so many issues, but the main one was dealing with my brother's death. However, I do plan to deal with the abuse issues, on the grief not related to death post in the coming months. 

 Lauren,  I am also sorry that you suffered abuse in your childhood too.


 Sweetpea 

[laurenE]

Oh sorry,  I'm such a goof.  I'll check it out. 

I'm sorry you had so much loss in your life.   Its amazing what some people go through and still remain so kind and postive like you are here.  You are an amazing woman.  Dont ever forget it.

Hugs to you

Lauren

[mzmallory]

Hello!

My name is Mallory and I am excited about this site. Our class had to look at it for a discussion board and after reading some of the posts about it I decided to check it out.
I am a recovering drug addict and have never been able to deal with grief appropriatly, I would always just run and hide. Now that my life has changed I see that I have never even dealt with deaths of family members or even non-death grieving.
I am happy and hope to get some healing from this site.
Thank you
Mallory

[laurenE]

Hi Mallory,

Welcome. 

[diamondinruff]

Thanks for the welcome and Im so glad I found this board.   I am grieving for someone who didnt die, but I am dead to her.    My older sister has not spoken to me since November of 2007.   She has disowned me and told me at that time that I would never hear from her again.   I have sent her cards, presents at Christmas, even yesterday I sent out an 4th of July greetings to all my friends and put in a special greeting to my sister - saying I miss her very much and love her forever.   I keep checking my email--nothing.    Back in November, there was a small inheritance and my sister felt that she should have it all -- I gave her much of my own part of the inheritance back in 1999 when my mom died- I wanted to please her (okay--THATS codependence).  But in November I finally spoke my mind and said that I was entitled to half--at that point my sister said she was "done" with me.    I am so sad that its all about money--that she would just write me off for 3 grand.   

There is not one day I dont miss her and think of her and wish she would stop punishing me.    Its like Im dead to her -- like Im the dead one, but shes not grieving me, Im grieving her!

[laurenE]

Diamond,

I feel your pain.  Truely I do.   

Ive decided that I truely do not know whether my sister greives for me.  And you do not truely know what your sister is thinking.    It does not appear our sisters grieve for us,  bc there is no action towards reconcilliation.   However,  we dont know that for a fact.   They are obviously the weaker ones, the ones who dont have the strength to know how to make it right.  My sister also stole money after mom died.   Yours bullied you into handing it over.  I dont know how either one of our sisters can look themselves in the mirror knowing that. Obviously they are not right,  and not emotionally healthy.    All we can do is pray on and hope for another chance to have a new relationship with a healthier sister someday.

Welcome to the board.  You are not alone.

Lauren

[diamondinruff]

My sister also stole money from my mothers account before she passed away, charged up her credit cards, and still felt entitled to everything.   One crazy thing that happened is that my sister had a family video and she always said she would make a copy of it for me, but never did, and I asked her several times.  But she kept it almost like a ransom.    We were both adopted, she being adopted 6 years before me.   She had always been very jealous of our parents' attention to me -- insecure in their love, although they always treated us the same.    I always felt the rejection--and  now its for good it seems.    My husband says good riddance to bad rubbish, but she is my sister and I love her---and cant let go---not yet!

[laurenE]

diamond,

I hear that!  Its difficult to let go of a sister.  Some days I think I have, but other days I find myself hurting for her once again .   Drives me nuts!

Im sorry your family did that to you as well.  I wouldnt wish that on anyone. 

Thanks for posting.  Its good to know we are not alone.

Lauren

[tester]

This is a test post for the Instruction page.

[wantthrive]

I'm glad that I've found this website.

wantthrive

[i12thrive]

I mentioned in the introductions that I have survived CSA, childhood sexual abuse. That's just a part of it. I was the family of origin's 'identified mental patient', and went through all kinds of abuse in hospitals and retraumatization as an adult. I'm still fighting this war that somebody else needed to start on me.
One therapist told me that my mental health was better than most people's because I work at it. Well, I have more work to go. I have to get myself healed up enough toget off of Soc. Security Disability, which has been my 'lifestyle' since I was 22. I'm now 52. It's a wonder I haven't given up.

I I was verbally/emotionally abused by a therapist so badly that I got PTSD from it. I no longer have the flashbacks of him screaming in my face every morning as he did at our last session. In fact, I no longer answer to him in my mind. I guess there are plenty of horrible things that DIDN"T happen to me, and I'm grateful for that.

I somehow got through college an inch at a time. I am a part-time teacher. I teach creative drama to a group of 3rd- 5th grade students. It is rewarding. I've been training as a jazz vocalist for several years. I want to sing out more places. Where I live, there are so many musicians, not that many of us get paid. I also like to paint watercolors and have sold some art over the years.

It's scary to go on sometimes. I don't want to give up. I believe at least sometimes, that we all have true purpose in life and that is a reason to keep going.

I am touched by reading others' stories here. I wish all of you peace, safety, and comfort in your sorrow. And some laughter wouldn't hurt, either.

Thanks for reading this.

i12thrive