Welcome

[Tom]

Welcome to the board specifically for grief that results from non-death experiences.  Glad you have found us.

Tom

[meemaw]

I am glad to see this section here.  My niece found this site and let me know about it. She was dealing with the loss of her husbund and I was still trying to grieve for mine( her uncle).  Beside that I am having a hard time holding it together because 2 of my sons are having trouble in their marriages.  I really worrry about them and my grandchildren.  I know there are ups and downs when you are married but the things going  on strike me as serious.  If my husband were here he would keep me on a level playing field.  I try not to voice how I feel to any of them.  Iam afraid a wrong word could make things worse. I still find it a little hard say a prayer. Maybe it will come bacl to me.  Thanks for listening.  Meemaw

[laurenE]

meemaw,

thanks for posting.  I am sorry for your family struggles.  It is painful to watch loved ones hurting,   especially when you are hurting as well.     I will keep your family in my prayers.   

Lauren

[sweetpea]

Hello Meemaw,

Welcome. keep in touch that's what this board is about!!!!! reaching out to help one another when we are troubled.

So come back we are here to listen or talk.

 Sweetpea

[BHart]

Thank you so much for the warm welcome. I lost my husband 6/3/07 after 32
years of marriage to cancer. Even though my first husband died after 2 1/2 years
of marriage when I was 20 this one is different and I am having a harder time.
I look forward to your support and advice.

[laurenE]

Bhart,

I'm so sorry for your loss.  I can not even imagine loosing 2 husbands to death.  My heart aches for you.   

You may want to post on our main board.  That is where most of the activity is for grief over the death of someone.  There are many people there who have also lost husbands.  Hopefully you will feel a warm welcome and find wonderful support there. 

Lauren

[roseq]

Hello.  Thank you for the welcome.  I have read some messages before I registered and I will feel comfortable writting in this forum.  My story is more than just caring for my husband resently diagnosed with cancer.  To heal I need a place to write out two more events including my mother's passing less than a year ago and two of California's wildfires.  My stress rate may make me very ill if I keep this in.  I may only find a few that can relate to this but I will try to communicate.  My neck is starting to act up again so I will make this note short.

Thank you very much for the welcome note.

[laurenE]

(((rose))) welcome

[Sher]

this is awesome to  find this board..  I had registered and posted a while back on the main board..but felt like I didn't really fit in as I wasn't grieving a death..

I was grieving being adopted, having a difficult childhood, rape, molestation and trauma.  I really don't know where to start grieving somedays..  So I don't.   Which is in essence the problem.  You have to grieve in order to heal.  (sigh)...

Rose...I totally get what you are saying.  The stress of my whole life manifested in physical distress ranging from eating disorders to blown out eczema to IBS and anxiety.  Let it out girl!  ;-)

[laurenE]

Sher,

I do hope you find support here.  This is a very new part of our boards,  and it hasnt quite caught on yet,    but perhaps others will read your post and offer the support you need here.   

There is much grief and many losses,  after experiencing some of the things you have experienced..   loss of a childhood,  loss of relationships,  loss of innocence and trust.  The scars remain somehow someway,  over the years,  reminding us of our pain,   but  most importantly,  reminding us of how far we have come.
You are a survivor.   Be proud of yourself,  and never stop growing. 

Welcome,

Lauren

[Sher]

Thank you Lauren..  I appreciate your insightful words..  I am a survivor..

I like the concept of this board immensely..  Sharing coping mechanisims and strategies for healing as a community is very theraputic.

Therapy has helped me recognize that the shame and blame that I feel for all that I have been thru is not my fault.  But I still struggle every day with liking myself and feeling positive about living my best life.

But I WANT to heal...  and I want to be happy and have healthy relationships.

...and the way to do that is to grieve...by talking about it and crying about it...and getting thru it again...but this time positively and lovingly.

I plan to start grieving....soon!

[laurenE]

No better time than the present

[meemaw]

Well things have gone a step further with one of my sons.  His wife went behind his back to have him served with a restraining order.  So she can keep him away from his own house.  Looks like this will be a nasty diviorce.  She figures her mother will bail her out no matter what(they have enough money). You can see that certain things she did was designed to keep my son out of a lot of things. He had his daughter for 7 weekends, suddenly lastweek she missed her daughter. That's when she filed the papers.  I don't know why women are always given those kind of rights to do things and say things that are not true. I can only hope my son hangs in there.  I can only offer him a roof over his head and meals on the table. The rest will be up to him.                   Meemaw

[sweetpea]

Hello Sher, Welcome!!

I am glad you came to post at this site   it is the place you need to be. I too am a Survivor, I had a troubled childhood such as yours. It took me many years to come to terms with all the abuse and trauma. That little girl in me used to cried all the time about the horrors that happen.

 Part of my healing came about talking about what happened to me, first to my husband, then my sister and finally to myMother. It was like  a mountain was lifted from my shoulders .

I went to see the movie "Antroine Fisher,  "Who will Cry for the little boy... the poem, was me !!!!
if you have not seen the movie please go rent it it is quite theraputic.

 So again Welcome, you are in the right place. Come back and post we are here.
 
Sweetpea,

 the other survivor

[laurenE]

Sweatpea,

OMG!!    I OWN the movie  Antoine Fisher.   The poem  "who will cry for the little boy" is also me.      I have watched that movie so many times .  It brings me such comfort knowing I am not the only one "looking" for a family to treat me right.   My favorite scene is the porch scene where Antoine goes back to his foster home and stands up for himself.   "You tried to destroy me..but you will NEVER destroy me!!!!"      Someday I'm gonna do that.  I have already to my mother at her grave,  but I have a few more people to deal with in my family.     

Yes, I too am a survivor,  as I have shared in many of my posts on the main board, when talking about my mother.   

Thanks for sharing that sweatpea.  I'm sorry that happened to you. 

  Always good to see you.   

Lauren

Oh,   you might want to go to the intro board and post a quick paragraph about what brought you here,  who you have lost, and when they died.     It helps people to go to that board to re read background info.    Ok, I admit, mainly me bc my memory is so bad.