Welcome

[andy1964]

Thank you so much. It means a lot to me to know that you are out there. Its a strain getting through the day, forcing a smile, when inside you just want to curl up and hide from the world. Its tiring. I would give the world to have my wife back for one minute, just to look her in the eyes and tell her how much I really loved her, how much I really loved her. We all say 'I love you' casually in life as if it is just words. I worry that she never realised how much I meant it. If only I had the opportunity to tell her before she left me.

Why do I feel so guilty about everything? Guilty that she may not have fully realised the depth of my love, guilty that I failed to save her when I felt she was relying on me, guilty about being so consumed that I am not doing a good job for my daughter, and guilty when I have a tolerable 5 minutes without falling apart..........I just want my old life back.

Knowing that I am not alone and there are truly caring people who understand helps. Thank you again.
Andy