this is a Great Group, A Grief Group on the Internet

[AMI]

Guys Lonnie asked me to share , or here goes.
Sometime if you get a chance, could you share with us a little about the grief group?
I've never been to one, and I was wondering how the meeting goes, and if you find it helpful. How many attend?

I do find the group helpful, now.   You have to feel comfortable with the people,
Theirs about 15 to 20 in attendance everyother week.

  Their are 8 from my church, we meet and bring pot luck, get comfortable first,  visit and get to know each other.  We do have a councelor that moderates.   Each time we meet we share our name and our spouse's name and how they died, and how long.
at times so one will just start talking and may take the whole session , but most of the time we are given some sort of work sheet, or I should say think sheet.   We share our answers if we want too, no one is required to share anything.
He gives us reading suggestions, and we do watch videos at times.

But mainly we share our feeling candidly about what ever it is bothering us.
Last week, a member was in the angry at God period.    She was really hurting, I think half of it is getting rid of all the anger by expressing it.   Someone shared their frustration of dealing with the business and all that goes with  a spouse duing.  There are those that handle it better than others,      Some are loosing their homes, because there too old to work, and not enough income, or none.

It has made me be Thankful for what I do have and how much worse it could be.
Maybe its just hearing how others are hurting in one area and exceling in others and for someone else it may be the reverse.

I shared I bit the bullit and bought my first new car by my self,  I took the car to the cemetary and showed it to my husband,  I choose to believe, he was pleased I was learning to take care of my self.

I just find it comforting to be amoung so many hurting people and be able to feel  they all understand my pain without saying a word.   
Some of us meet at other times for lunch and get more personal.   

Yes I find it helpful to part of  this internet Grief Group and the Grief Group in person, I dont think you can have too much counceling.

I thank all of you for posting your feeling , and your thoughts you never know when you are helping someone express something they have not been able to put to words, so never hold back , you might help someone by expressing your feelings.

Thanks for the interest Lonnie,   

AMI

[Lonnie]

Thanks so much for that information. It is wonderful that so many from your church are attending, and that many of you have gotten together socially for lunch. There is such comfort in knowing that others understand. I love the idea of discussion, think sheets, and videos. All of those can be thought provoking, and an easier way to lead into a discussion.
I honestly felt my eyes fill with tears when I pictured you taking the new car to the cemetary. I know your husband would be (is) proud that you are learning how to handle things that you probably never dreamed that you would. I am proud of you for not giving up  and for reaching out to others as well. I hope you will post more. I really enjoy hearing about the grief groups and how they are organized. Yours sounds wonderful with the potluck and social part. What a great way to break the ice and get to know each other. Where is it held?
Thanks for sharing this. Love, Lonnie

[Marylou]

Lonnie, here in our small town, around the holidays, the hospital holds a grief shop and also the funeral home where we held the funeral. I went to both last year and probably will go to both again this year. They name each person, show their picture. We all sit around a large table and each one gets to tell there story. It all starts with a buffet, they furnish, then a counselor talking and showing a real great grief vidoe. You can talk as much as you want and then if you want further help they suggest you come to other help groups.
It was very nice we all were called up one by one, gave a candle. a hand made angel and flower, funeral home gave each a red ornament with there name on it. It just meant so much that there life was being remember by others.
I also say this internet grief help is the best, it really brings you into the  reality that you are not the only one having to go through this part of life.
Just thought you would enjoy reading how the little towns do things?
Marylou

[Karen Paul]

AMi - it sounds like you have found a good group - I'm glad of that - I have only a couple of experiences with a group myself - about 4 months after my nephew Christopher died - I went to a Compassionate Friends meeting with his mom Amy and her mom.

I think it was too soon in any case because I found it very very hard. I felt like I had run a marathon afterwards. Amy happened to be the only one attending that particular night who had lost her "only" child and she found it very difficult to listen to people talk about their surviving children. Also the woman who was "moderating" the group was a 10yr survivor and Amy felt she was a little too "casual" about some things I think - we are so so very sensitive in the beginning and every thing is so raw - I went to the same group one or two more times - once with my own mother - the group was always very welcoming - but since I am not a parent myself I didn't really feel like I fit in very well - it felt awkward to me.. so I did not return

for me these online groups have been my saving grace - I know Amy went on to find a private counselor who has been helpful to her - everyone has to find the right fit for their particular circumstance I guess - my brother (Chris' dad) refuses to speak to anyone who didn't know Chris... he has his own path I guess - though I do not always understand it..

I'm glad that you have found such a good group - that is active and so supportive - that is just such a good thing -

hugs, Karen
Chris' aunt

[Lonnie]

Thank you Marylou-That sounds like a lovely rememberance ceremony at both places. The holidays are so hard, and anything that can be done to bring our loved ones into a sad time of year is nice. I can tell that it meant so much to you. I think of you often-Lonnie