Grief suffered due to causing an accidental death

[alleye]

Dear All
I mean no disrespect or wish to upset any one at all please know this from the start.

I recently lost a family member and the grief was awful however I cannot begin to say I understand how anyone else experiences grief as it is such a difficult and complicated emotion

However I am a UK reporter working on a series about grief partly prompted by my loss  and the different types suffered under different circumstances. MY NUJ number is 937 491.

One area I need to explore is how do you cope with grief if you cause an accidental death - for example in a car crash. I specifically need to talk to a woman aged between 25 and 40 who has been driving a car for example and had an accident in which someone passed away. Or perhaps a woman who was involved in an accidental death of another sought. It is for a womens magazine.

I would need to interview you on the phone  and have some photos emailed and we can change your name etc. I want to explore how you go through the grieving process after this and how you got help to do so. There are many people out there who have had experiences like this who do not know who to turn to.

AGAIN I MEAN NO DISRESPECT. I am just reaching out and hoping someone who can help me and others by telling their story. The magazine always offers a fee to anyone interviewed and it can go to a charity or counselling.

My email is alleynews@hotmail.com
my phone in UK is 07747 825 884 my phone outside Uk is + 44 7747 825 884

LOVE AND GOOD THOUGHTS
ALLEY EINSTEIN
WRITER

[Karen Paul]

Alley - Sorry I cannot help you... I have not heard anyone here say that they have been in a situation like that... I lost my nephew to a guy who chose to drink and drive (after 4 DWI convictions and losing his license for a period of time and then getting it back).. he hit Chris while he was riding his bicycle home in NOv. 2003.. Chris was thrown head first into a stone wall and this guy left him to die and went home to try to fix his truck...

This was no "accident" in our case, but a heinous crime... we are lucky the guy was found the following day and is serving time for leaving the scene and tampering with evidence... he probably feels like a victim but he's not... he made choices, all of them bad... and we have lost Christopher forever at the age of 16...

I wish you luck as I'm sure there must be people out there in the situation you describe and I cannot imagine how painful that would be...

sincerely,
Karen
proud aunt of Christopher

[julia]

Oh My!!??

I really don't trust this.  Sorry no disrespect to that comment.  Just to many weird things happening in this world. 

Fondly,
Julia

[sandy2]

ditto me too !!!!

[Lonnie]

Alley: I think most of the people on our site are grieving the loss of someone close to them. In most cases, they have either died naturally, or from illness, or by suicide, or as a result of someone else's negligence or criminal behavior. (Or in my case, through neglect of the hospital involved.) So you probably will not find the answers that you need here, as we are generally on the other side of the coin-the ones whose loved ones have been harmed or died tragically. I do hope you find some answers. Lonnie

[Sue Overmire]

I am from the UK and still miss my daughter very much. She died as a result of an RTA in 1993. The lady to whom I am replying says she is a reporter - she can't be a very good one as her spelling is awful. Such was the reporting when my daugher died - standards aren't improving then!

When our child dies as a result of "an accident" - we haven't too much time to devote to how the person who caused it is feeling. Nor less want to read about it.

Sue

[Lisa Moody]

I agree with what Karen and all of you say...  There was no accidental DEATH!!!!!  We are here for amonug reason you can imagine!  I am here because I am lost in this space of my world because someone decide to make that judgement on my son's life.  This was not God who wanted him now!  It was a judgement called on a person whether he had been drinking or what ever.... My Russell Boy's death is the result of a judgement call this person did that day...  I don't know how to explain that grief is not something you can grasp on and hold it and say it is over but the individual person who is greiving is the only person that understands the horror and conflict our lives have been taken. I always have that same question asked when I do a news interview...  How is it going for you since Russell's death...  You know my only answer I have.... Is a living hell!  Yes, speechless to even try to explain to these reporters and yes that is their job...  but if this happened to them at that moment what would they say?  I often wonder about alot of questions and how to answer them.  THERE IS NO ANSWER!!!!  Sorry frustrated with the media!  Siffering and tryign to cope is all we can do and someday we will be healed but until that day comes...  I am still finding answer for justice for my son's death.

Lisa - Russell Boy's mom....