Question about things your loved ones did or liked to do

[AllysonD]

Okay I couldnt really think of an appropriate title so I hope people will read this and not skip over it.

As many of you know my younger brother passed away this past April (it still seems so weird to type that or say it aloud). Anyway, he was 26 and he had a fiancee that he had proposed to in the past year. My brother was an avid football fan, loving especially the Louisiana State University Tigers.  We (my family) plans to buy a memorial brick to pave the sidewalk leading up to the tiger's cage on campus. I think he would really like that.

Anyway to my question, his fiancee "J" and my mother were talking today and J said she could never watch football again b/c it was somethng they did together. My mother said she was going to put on his LSU jerseys and wear them proudly as she watched the games in memory of him.

Which would you be more likely to do?

If your 3rd cousin passed away and she liked to play backgammon, would you never play it again? Would you brush up on it and become the best backgammon player you could be?

Just curious what the concensus would be...........

[Lonnie]

Wear the jerseys and watch the game!!!!!!! Lonnie

[Crushed]

AllysonD: My husband loved NASCAR and I could care less about it. He went with one of our daughters and grand son. I have his ticket and my daughter said she has someone that wanted to buy it. I decided not to sell it but go with them to the race. She tells me that I am going to hate it because of the heat and noise....  but I want to see for myself what it is all about and maybe I will hate it and maybe I'll be sorry I didn't go with him. I did watch the races on tv with him. I love skating and he wouldn't watch or go with me to ice shows. That was his choice. At least I know who the best drivers are and that's more than I can say for him and skating! We'll see how it goes.

[laurenE]

I would carry on  his tradition in his memory.  Wear that jersey with pride and enjoy!!   Dont let his good traits or traditions die too. 


  He will still be a part of your family in their heart,   so have fun with all the fun he had.

[Marylou]

My answer to this, is do it! I have most of the things, from the love of a Harley, in a room sit up for the memory of my husband and son. I never really liked the motorcycle scene, but I am soooooo thank ful now, that I always went with him, always. I have allot of GREAT memories of those rides, I have his vest that he had on the day of the accident, the only thing left from that day. I keep it hanging up, even though it was torn and now and then the memories will make me cry, but I feel  so close to him when I look at that vest. I for a while HATED the thought of a motorcycle, but in time and it took a year,I do realize, it was not the bike that took him. Just a careless driver!!!!
So keep his memories alive by wearing the jersey or what ever you have! I know I have some Harley clothes I probably will never part with, just that feeling of him being here. I can feel it so strongly. He was also a huge Steelers fan, have allot of things from that, in the room also! Have his jacket, if I would ever get to make a game, I will wear it! He will be right there with me.
My daughter in-law and daughters, wear some of the clothes I gave them! It truly makes one feel so close, even though tears do fall!

Been there love Marylou

[Karen Paul]

Everyone has different feelings about this and sometimes the feelings may change during the course of grief.. sometimes things are too painful in the beginning, but after some time become cherished memories and make us feel closer to our loves..

My nephew Chris was really into hiphop / rap music, which I never liked much.. while I still don't listen very often, I do more than I did and some of the songs have meaningful lyrics.. Chris was also a very diehard Red Sox fan, following in the steps of my dad and my brother.. the three of them spent much time together at games and enjoyed keeping the faith in a sea of Yankee fans (we live in New York state).. my brother and dad still go to games together, and Chris' mom and his step-dad also go to games.. Brian (my brother, Chris' dad).. says that the outcomes are not as important as they once were.. but it is a cherished thing done with Chris since he was little and I think he is there with them..

Even though I am not a big baseball fan.. I do have a Red Sox hat that I wear in memory of Chris.. and a sweatshirt that Brian had gotten for Chris' 17th birthday, that he never got to give him and so gave to me (Chris died from hit and run just 3 weeks before his birthday).. I wear that and feel closer to him, though he never wore it..

hugs to all,
Karen
proud aunt of Christopher

Brian, Chris, Dad

[kelly37]

Wear the jersey & watch the games!  Do it & know your deceased loved one will be watching & smiling!!! My dad was a Steeler fan & so am I just for him!  I could really care less about pro football but I do it for him; plus a lot of people in  OH dislikes Steelers so I smile & cheer them on knowing my dad is saying "that's my girl"!!!

I put on my dad's Harley sweatshirt the other night & I smelled his cologne as I put it over my head!!! I started crying but then I knew he was with me!!  My husband wears my dad's shirts & ties.  Just the thought that he's still w/us by us wearing his clothes & continuing his hobbies makes me smile!
Kelly

[trae]

No question or hesitation -- wear that Jersey or as many as she wants and honor his memory.  You have to continue, and not cut out things that you did together, because to me (at least) you are cutting him out of your life too.  So wear that Jersey, watch those games and celebrate the time you had.  Remember, he will probably be watching the game too, with an amazing seat, right overhead.  BUT, again that horrible word TIME.  In time "J" will probably be able to do these things again.  My Joe LOVED motorcycles and Football.  I live in Eugene Oregon and the Ducks are playing tomorrow.  I will be there, knowing Joe will be watching and saying "GO DUCKS!" from up above, the best seat in the house!

I think that when I go, I will still seek out the things I loved, don't you?

Terri

[pattie40]

   I have a hard time watching some of our faviorit programs on tv. csi - criminal minds-how i meet your mother... we would always talk about the shows after we watched them. as for football he was a browns fan and we live in new england... he would give dog bones to people whenever his team won. they didn't win as much as the patriorits.

supperbowl will be hard as we always made a big party out of it...i was mostly intrested in the score because we played pools at work.. i really don't like football but i sat with him and even found an internet radio station that broadcast the game play by play..  i don'tknow what i'm going to do.......
time will tell... i try to do things that we normally did but sometimes it's not the same..

[jazzgirl]

My brother was a big fan of the buccaneers. In fact, we buried him in a new shirt he had just got for Christmas. He never got to wear it and I got the exact same shirt. I continued watching the games wearing that shirt, but this season, I haven't seemed to care to much about football. I don't know if it is because we would always be on the phone during the games, or if it is just because I don't have time. Either way, I know when I was watching the game in my shirt, I felt closer to him. I would light a candle for him.

[HurtinginPa]

My Brother just passed a month ago today he loved the Pittsburgh Steelers and I will wear my jersery  every Sunday in his Honor and light his candle. I truly believe he would not want us to stop doing anything. it makes me feel closer so i will put on one of his Do Rags and my jersery. When his friends carried him they all wore white- t's and the Do Rags. that was my brother and would have wanted it no other way.

[Lonnie]

Hurting-That was so touching about the way they dressed to carry your brother. I know he would have been pleased. Lonnie

[Lisa Moody]

In remebrance the Jersey should be worn.  My son was a football legend in high school. Well this year my older Son Kalani got a coaching position at the same high school that Russell Boy and he went to.  When he went into the coaches office he started crying.  All along the wall of that office where photos of Russell boy that the coaches kept throughout the years. The head coach gave Kalani - Russell boys Jersey and other practice jersey that he had kept also. I am amazed how much my Russell boy touched peoples lives throughout the year.  We are going to his resting place on Friday 9/14/07 and then we are going to my son -Kalani's apartment for dinner.  He says he has something he needs to show us that the other coaches got of Russell boy.  Yes I would wear he's jersey or anything in the remembrence of my Russell Boy.  I have a pair of earrings that Russell Boy was wearing the day of the accident, I now wear those earrings every single day.

God bless you and your family....

[AMI]

watch the game and wear the shirt

[Chiradeep]

I THINK WATCHING THE GAME WILL BE MORE APPROPRIATE.