will the pain ever stop

[Lost]

I lost my wife of 27 years on may 1st of this year to lung cancer,I watched her decline in health for 1 year before they found what was wrong and then it was 1 more year before she passed. I go through every day missing her and crying I know its still early and I'm really trying but I don't know how much more pain I can stand. I have no one here with me,I am disabled due to a stroke that I never would have survived without her help.I now wished I hadn't. I have friends who have realy helped with taking me places (doctor store ect.)because I can't drive.I basicly sit here and stare at these walls 24/7.
Oh by the way this was my best friend as I was hers.Thier was no question of our love for each other.

[Lonnie]

Lost: There are no words to express how sorry I am for the horrible illness and death of your wife. It sounds like you had a very devoted love for each other, and to say that you were best friends is wonderful. That is really how all husbands and wives should be. But I know that means also that the pain is overwhelming. I am so glad that you do have friends to help with your appointments and errands. It is so tough when you can't drive. My mom lost my dad a lttle over 2 years ago, and she is in the same situation. I take her to all her doctor appointments, errands, etc. I am so glad that you found the board. Many people here have also lost their spouses, and they can surely relate to the sorrow and pain you are trying to endure. I think you will find this a good place to be. So please come by anytime, and we look forward to hearing more about your wife when you feel like talking. Lonnie

[Lost]

Thanks Lonnie

[AllysonD]

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my only brother on 4-13-07. My grandmother also passed away after an illness (cancer) in July of last year. To answer your question, YES, the pain will stop. I cant say when but it will get better. Time is a great healer and one day you will be able to think of your precious wife and smile before the tears come. But its early yet.....

I am thinking of you and praying for you in hopes that you can find a small amount of peace.

[Crushed]

Lost, wow but you have had a tough row to hoe. You are so lucky to have had such a love and a lot of people would give a lot to have had that and never find it. I believe that everything has an opposite and for great love the pain and grief we feel is almost overwhelming, and I also feel that it is worth it to have had those years and so much joy together.
As for wishing you didn't survive the stroke, who would have taken as loving care of your wife when she so needed you? You were saved for a reason and God has a plan for you, it just takes time to figure out what it is. In the mean time is there something you could do from home such as calling to check on the elderly or anything that would connect you to others so you wouldn't feel so isolated?  You are not alone, as there are many caring people on this site that will listen when you want to talk.  Please make yourself rest and eat right and better days are ahead.

[gabbie]

lsot im so sorry about your loss.i to have loss my one and only from lung cancer.my husband passed on july 29 and im so lost with out him.we found  out march 2 2006 that he has stage 4 lung cancer he was 49 years old and we were married for 10 years he was my soul mate and we have 3 small children age 9-7-3. i have to try to be strong for them and its hard.my husband and i did everything together with the kids and now its me and the kids and i dont know what to do .all i do is cry and look at pictues.my prayrs are with you- gabbie

[gabbie]

lost- i been thinking about you today.i been praying for you because i know what you are going thur.it is so hard.my kids are doing good they go to daycare everyday to play with there friends just for a little while.-- gabbie--

[trae]

Lost and Gabbie:

I thought about you both today and had to come in and let you know that.  Will the pain ever stop?  Will the crying ever stop?  Will the anger ever stop?  I have to believe, we all have to know that yes it will.  But the memories will always be there.  I think for the rest of our lives we will have the pain, but it will just dull with each passing day, week, month, year.  Our hearts are broken to have lost the one constant in our lives.  Our mates.  So look at those pictures, shed your tears.  I think its all part of the process.  I can't wait till I see a picture of my Joe and smile instead of cry.

My prayers are with you both, each and every day

Terri

[Autumn Leaves]

Terri,

Yes, the pain and anger will diminish over time. The anger over medical mishaps or neglect, the anger with doctors ignoring or misdiagnosing our spouses and causing them misery takes a while but we learn to accept it. We can't live our lifes full of anter and pain. We start that way but have moments of good in our lives and rays of happiness. Some days there are more good parts than bad parts. Some days we get through the whole day without thinking about our missing spouse and we feel sad but we realize we're recovering and getting on with our lives. We start thinking of our spouses without sadness, remembering the good times or the healthy times. We keep our memories alive and live with their love rather than existing with regret and anger.

We learn to smile again and laugh again. We learn to visit those places we used to go together and not be an emotional wreck. We use the comfort and compansionship of our family and friends and get used to the empty house and the loss of our spouse and the future we'd dreamed about. Life goes on and we will go on living and living as our God wants us to live.