Lost My Sister the pain is awful

[yellowsunshine]

I lost my sister December 30th. She was 41 years old and my best friend. I I still feel a horrible feeling of loss. She was found in the driveway seizing. She had a ruptured brain aneurysm.  I lost my oldest son 4 years ago in a car accident, and like you wonder how to deal with the grief. Talking about how you feel and about the ones you love/loss helps. Remembering. As time goes on the feelings are still there, but they don't feel as consuming. At least that's what I have felt after losing my son.  It sure isn't easy...but somehow we go on...

[hez]

First off, I am sorry for your loss. I lost my sister, my only sibling, on April 14th, 2006 to a massive heart attack.  It was at 3:30am and by God's grand design my family and myself were staying there while my mother-in-law was having major surgery not far from her house.  She was 37 years old.  So I was awoke by my brother-in-law telling me he needed my help and shortly after we lost her while doing CPR.  Her two children and my two children watched.  Though the post traumatic stress has been unbearable at times Grief has been overwhelming as well.  My best advice to anyone is to take the time to research what happens to your body physically and emotionally during the process.  I started having panic attacks I think due to seeing her die, but also grief is such a process.....I didn't realize what was normal.  I started feeling like something was wrong with me physically when it was actually just part of the process.  Sudden death I think contributes to the shock factor as well.  The best way I have been able to describe to those who don't know is it is like being HOMESICK.  But it's your life making you feel that way.  Nothing seems right.  Just remember that some of your friends will be at a loss to how to make you feel better.  Some won't call because they don't know what to say.  It hurts, but it isn't intentional. Though you HAVE to go through grief don't let it define you or consume you.  Grief is all your emotions times 100.  When I was sad I was really sad....but when I was mad.....I was enraged.  I hope I have gave you a little insight....I will pray for all of you for all my real strength came from God alone.  Turn to him even if you are angry with him.  He will understand.  Death is about the only thing it's okay to hate.

[Sad Eyes]

Yellowsunshine I am so sorry for your losses.  I watched as my parents grieved over the loss of my sister and after my mom passed away my brother was killed and I watched as my dad mourned for him.  No parent should ever have to mourn the loss of a child.................................it really aged my parents after my sister passed away and my dad was never the same after my brother died. Multiple losses only add to the pain and sorrow you feel................you begin the mourning process all over again for your first loss.

Hez, I have used the description of HOMESICK many times when talking to my friends about the loss of my family.  This sad thing about grief is we can never get our loved one back.  You are right about sudden death adding to the stress and shock factor.  I can remember having panic attacks in my own home after my brother was murdered, the suddeness of death takes away our feeling of security.  I am so sorry that you have lost your sister in such a tragic way.

Yellowsunshine and Hez you both are in my prayers.  Let everyone know how you are doing.  We are here is you need a shoulder to lean on.

[Jparks]

Know that everyone truly means what they say when their heart goes out to you. Mine does. Lost my little brother last year and some days are devastating while others are peaceful. The pain doesnt seem to go away, but as time goes by you know the pain and learn to confront it I think. Blessings and prayers to you and your family.